Ah, life is sweet. You’re out of your parents’ basement and among several million other twenty-somethings (or thirty-somethings, if you’re a late bloomer) with a bona-fide, certified “Very Own First Apartment.” If you’ve played the Sims, you might be familiar with how to decorate a living space; if not, or if your ideas of interior design include a neon sign exclaiming “LIVE NUDES,” check out these essentials for grown-ups:
1. As it’s pretty rude to ask your guests to sit on the floor past the age of twelve, you should seriously consider making a couch your first investment (no, a metal-framed futon does not count).
2. Instead of engaging in that morning drug deal at the coffeehouse of your choosing, why not enjoy a coffee in the comfort of your own home, made by your shiny new coffee pot? Cooking AND budgeting? Your mom will be so proud.
3. Speaking of cooking, you might want to someday cook something more complex than Easy Mac; multiple pans make this idea an actual possibility. Double points if they match.
4. In the age of identity theft, exercise some common sense and keep your important documents (i.e., social security card, birth certificate, marijuana prescription..) at home in a waterproof, fire-safe document box. You can decorate it with bikini chicks, if you’re really into it.
5. Nobody likes wrinkles unless you’re a pug — and even those are freaking ugly. Use an iron on those important interview days to look a bit more respectable.
6. Nothing says “contemporary young professional” like framed wall art. Leave the thumb-tacks and duct tape on your dorm room wall, next to quote sheet covered in Sharpied drunken funnies.
7. Impress the ladies with your (seemingly) intellectual prowess: a well-stocked bookshelf (actual books, not Playboy) adds a touch of class and gives your guests something they can snoop through while waiting.
8. Say goodbye to mom and dorm cleaners and hello to your own cleaning supplies. Unless you want to appear on that germ-exposing reality show with your kitchen as the star, it’s helpful to scrub things down once and a while.
9. Do not, repeat, do NOT run out of toilet paper. It doesn’t come from the TP Fairy; you have to stock it yourself, and you’ll be sorry if you don’t.
10. Last and certainly not least, make sure your fridge is stocked with beer. As an over-age minion of the real world, you’ll appreciate the supply after you start your boring new job. Huzzah, huzzah.