TV This Week: Dating, Drama, and Dwarves

Most of your usual shows are new again this week. However, these little gems may prove more captivating. So grab that remote and your snack of choice and dive in.

Little People, Big World – TLC – Monday, May 10, 8 p.m. (ET)

Maybe it’s not your favorite TLC hit. It lacks the come-hither looks, lights, and ludicrousness of Toddlers & Tiaras. Say Yes to the Dress‘s  massive wads of white fabric are sadly absent. It doesn’t even star Kate Gosselin. But this episode of Little People, Big World does have the World Dwarf Games, and that’s enough for me.

Lost – ABC – Tuesday, May 11, 9 p.m. (ET)

According to TV Guide, “Locke’s motives become clear.” And by “Locke,” they mean Locke monster. And by “motives,” they mean why he’s doing weird stuff. And by “clear,” they mean slightly less opaque. Haven’t been following Lost? Probably not a good idea to try now.

Ashes to Ashes – BBC America – Tuesday, May 11, 10 p.m. (ET)

Season 2 premiere. This series is a sequel to the British series Life on Mars. We had one of those in the United States, too. They’re quite similar. Except for Ashes to Ashes focuses on a female detective rather than a male detective. And she flashes back to 1982 instead of 1973. And neither British series flopped as dynamically as ABC’s Life on Mars did. Ours was special like that.

Repossessed – National Geographic Channel – Wednesday, May 12, 10 p.m. (ET)

Season 2 premiere. As the economy takes a turn for the worse, business takes a turn for the better. These guys go around taking things back from people. Surprisingly, Jay Leno has yet to appear on the show.

Fringe – Fox – Thursday, May 13, 9 p.m. (ET)

First part of the season finale. Olivia and Walter go to a different universe. Who knows, maybe Dawson’s Creek is cool there.

Supernatural – CW – Thursday, May 13, 9 p.m. (ET)

Season finale. Featuring: the Apocalypse. That seems a bit dramatic.

Miss USA Pageant – NBC – Sunday, May 16, 7 p.m. (ET)

Fifty-one contestants vie for the title in Las Vegas. Enjoy the glitz. Savor the glamor. Revere the gargantuan ego (and hair) of Trump himself. Oh yeah…and there are scantly clad girls.

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains – CBS – Sunday, May 16, 8 p.m. (ET)

Season finale. Who will win?

TiVo Alert!

Undateable – VH1 – Monday-Friday, May 10-14, 10 p.m. (ET)

This 5-part series is airing one episode a night all week long. It addresses things you do that turn women off. Watch. Study. Learn.

What Your Girlfriend’s Watching

Little Chocolatiers – TLC – Tuesday, May 11, 10 p.m. (ET)

The team makes chocolate high heels. Give a woman chocolate, and she will be happy. Give a woman a chocolate shoe, and she will spend the day with her foot in her mouth.

Minute to Win It – NBC – Wednesday, May 12, 8 p.m. (ET)

Featuring a Jonas brother. It’s Kevin Jonas, but it still technically counts.

Vampire Diaries – CW – Thursday, May 13, 8 p.m. (ET)

Season finale. This show sucks. It really bites. What a bloody mess. Put a stake in it, it’s done. (I understand this show is actually quite good, but acknowledging this would have inhibited my puns…nothing cramps my puns).

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