What Your Suitcase Says About You

Image is everything. Whether you are at a job interview, trying to pick up that hot chick at the bar, or just looking to get a teacher to cut you some slack on an assignment’s due date, the image you send out will influence the decision of the target in question. When you travel, your image can go a long way towards helping people decide whether you get a free upgrade to first class, get the special search by security, or maybe a free drink or two. Try walking around an airport with a Wal-Mart Bag carry-on and see how many people will go out of their way to not help you.  You go from VIP to ‘end of the line, loser’ faster than Usain Bolt on speed.

So if you’re wondering what your baggage may be telling people read on and we’ll tell you:


Any form of plastic bag: This is my very first time flying on this here aero-plane and I am nervous. Maybe I should have skipped this trip to Graceland and used the money to  feed my kids this week. Nah, they’ll be fine.


An duffel bag with promos all over it: I am a walking billboard that spent all my travel money on that sick party last weekend. Worked out perfectly that the bar was giving these awesome bags away for free. What am I advertising? Oh, cool, LifetimeTV, awesome, I like girls, right?


Something that looks much older than you do: My grandparents don’t use and darn it, the Piggly Wiggly does not pay that much. It’s so old fashioned that it looks cool. If only I could removed the crocheted luggage tag off of this dang thing. Now where are my complimentary nuts?


Something with flowers on it: My mom wanted to make sure that I didn’t have too much fun on Spring Break in Florida so she gave me this. She also packed me a little Dramamine in case I’m feeling sick. Oh and I can’t forget to call her as soon as I land.


Luggage that has to be held together with duct tape: I don’t really give a flying hoot about appearances, wasn’t that evident with the Mexican poncho, ripped up pants, and flip flops? At least I could afford the trip, so back off!


Something that appears new: I have a job that pays more than minimum wage. Can I impress you with my matching carry-0n luggage set? No?  Can I buy you a drink?

FYI ladies, if you happen to notice a guy who has a lot of luggage when he leaves the baggage claim area chase him down. Regardless of what the man looks like he must be  a high roller to be able to fly AND check bags!

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