The 7 Dating Sites Every Guy Needs to Know

Love.  It’s grand.  It’s life-changing. But for some, love needs a little help finding its way.  Well, thanks to the internet, one can find “love” in all its many forms (chatroulette anyone?) With that in mind, here are the top 7 dating sites ranging from the “I Want to Meet my Soul Mate and Live Happily Ever After” type to the “I Want to Get Laid NOW” variety:

The “I Want to Meet the Love of My Life and Get Married” Website – eHarmony.com

As anyone can tell from any of their commercials, eHarmony is for the serious relationship/ marriage-minded types ONLY!   As it is, just to get through their ginormous personality survey alone requires a huge commitment!!  This “in-depth personality profile” delves into hundreds of “personality dimensions.” Then they use your responses to cross match you with other eHarmony members who are highly compatible with  you.  And according to Online Dating Magazine, eHarmony accomplishes something that virtually no other dating site has: there are twice as many women on eHarmony than there are men. So all you marriage-minded fellas out there, eHarmony is the place for you!

The “Okay, I’m Married Now, But the Sex Sucks” Website – AshleyMadison.com

Okay, let’s say you’ve been married for about 7 years and your  “love of your life” wife no longer wants to have sex with you.  Well, enter AshleyMadison.com, a website for people who want to cheat on their partners. That’s right, unlike traditional Internet dating sites where you’re expected to say you’re unattached, Ashley Madison (whose slogan is, “Life is short. Have an affair”) is honest about its duplicity.  And although its mission can be perceived as very wrong (for the record: cheating IS bad!), the fact that it claims 3.2 million members (30% of which are female), suggests that it’s also doing something right.

The “I Want to Meet a Bad Girl” Website – http://www.ladiesofthepen.com/

Four words–Female Inmate Pen Pals. Touted as “the premier internet introduction and dating service”, Ladies of the Pen are female inmates looking for pen pals and post-release relationships.  These “attractive, sexy, young women,” described as very lonely committed very minor crimes and are due to be released within two years. And if you’re concerned about whether these ladies can be trusted once they’re released, it is recommended that you “verify her information with the dept. of corrections. Oh and by the way, “many of the women on our site are former strippers, former dancers, former escorts, and a few ex-porn stars.”  Why do I have a feeling this site is going to seriously crash once all you curious, young fellas head over to the site all at once?

The “I Have an STD But I Still Want to Get Laid” Website – positivesingles.com

Working on the theory that people with herpes/HPV, HIV/AIDS need lovin’ too, positivesingles.com was created.  Touted as a “warm-hearted and exclusive community for singles and friends with STDs“,  Postivesingles.com helps you  get on with your life and meet new friends, partners or potential spouses. You can also learn about STD medical treatments and information,  find someone to talk to, or offer help and advice. All kidding aside, this actually appears to be a very warm, caring website for people dealing with some serious diseases.

The “I Want  IT and I Want IT BIG” Website– http://www.largepassions.com/

Forget abs of steel.  Do you like your women chunky? Are you a bonafide Chubby Chaser?  Then largepassions.com is for you. This unique site believes that size is only a number and offers online personals for plus size singles: the BBW – (Big Beautiful Woman), the BHM – (Big Handsome Man) and their Admirers FA’s – (Fat Admirers). And while the term overweight is subjective, usually any size over a 16 may be considered chubby chaser material. And what kind of man is usually a chubby chaser? Actually all kinds. According to bbwcupid.com, many men are sick of the underweight images that the media throws at them and actually prefer a woman with a little more meat on her bones.

The “I Want to Get Laid…and Laid…and Laid…”  Website–Bangmatch.com

In between girlfriends or not really looking for a relationship? Then, Bangmatch.com is calling your name (can the title be anymore obvious?!) Bangmatch.com is “run by women to serve their sexual needs”. The website also claims to have “over 120,000+ women who want to have SEX–lots of it!”  Their motto is “Created to give horny women what we need -sex and more sex.” The site guarantees that all the photos “of the women, couples, and she-males you’ll meet at BangMatch.com have been ID verified.” In other words, who/what you see online is what you get.  Well, at least someone believes in truth in advertising!

The “I Want to Get Laid and I Don’t Give a F%#k What  She/It Looks Like”  Website–Craiglist.com



Horny as all get out and just want sex without any frills, attachments, or sanitary conditions? Looking to pursue a latent fetish, perhaps? Then Craigslist Casual Encounters is for you, my friend.  Yes, the website that sells tea pots, apartments and cute little pussies (the FELINE variety, fellas!!) also offers “relationships” of the somewhat seedy variety (care to purchase a pair of “used panties“, anyone??).  Ahh, the things we do for “love”…

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