How to Lose Your Virginity Before you Die

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I hate to admit, but women have all the power in a relationship. When it comes down to it, all men want to do is watch sports, drink beer, eat red meat, and have sex. We can do three of them without women, but they sure come in handy for the last one. And sure enough, that is the one we want the most.

The problem is that more often than not women do not just want to do it just because we do. For some odd reason, there are even things that we do that seem to make them not want to do it. However, and lucky for us, there are things that can alert us to when they might be in the mood as well. Miss out on what to do and not to do and you might find yourself starring in the 41-year-old Virgin.

Fret not! The Brain Trust at COED, through painstaking research, has figured out a few do’s, don’ts, and things you might want to know — that is if you want to have sex without having to hire someone for it.

The Don’t Ask, Just Do Rule: If a chick is ready for a kiss there will be cues; pick up on them. If you fail to pick up on these major hints, do not ask her if you can kiss her. Nothing screams lame, wimpy, girly man more than someone who needs the signals to be translated for him. If you fail at the kiss, you will not  never ever get a chance to fail at the really fun stuff.

The Importance of Sports Rule: if a chick is willing to sit through a game with you without picking up a magazine or texting her friends for the next three hours, she only has one thing on her mind — “I hope this idiot appreciates this and is capable of giving me at least one orgasm later.”

The David Beckham Rule: Mr. Beckham can get away with showing off his stuff by wearing low rise jeans because he is Mr. Beckham. If he were a normal dude like you or me the chicks would be asking where he bought his jeans so that they could go get a pair. Low rise stuff is for chicks or incredibly rich people banging Posh Spice.

The Proper Use of Clothing Rule: Belts are meant to keep your pants up and that is it. Hang things from them — anything at all — and do not expect any halfway decent chick to pay much attention to you unless she wants her cable fixed.

The Don’t be a Chick Rule: Men are supposed to be men. Women know this and appreciate the fact — after all, if they did not want men they would simply go after women. So unless you are looking to be one of the girls do not pluck your eyebrows, use a tanning machine of any kind, or be caught dead on the inner thigh machine at the gym.

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