Castle – ABC – Monday, April 12, 10 p.m. (ET)
This week, Dancing With the Stars host Tom Bergeron gets the axe. I’m guessing Kate Gosselin in the ballroom with the stiletto.
SnakesKin – Animal Planet – Monday, April 12, 10 p.m. (ET)
Series premiere! The show follows a family that responds to snake crises. Everyone knows that one family on the block that responds to snake crises, right? This episode features a copperhead bite and a snake infestation. Here’s to hoping that future episodes will take place on a plane.
Southern Fried Stings – truTV – Monday, April 12, 10 p.m. (ET)
Series premiere! This team headed by an ex-State Trooper takes on private cases, serving up “Southern Justice” on the way. (We can only assume it tastes like chicken and conservatism).
Series premiere! This series will take behind bars in jails across the United States. Learn what jail is like or reminisce about the good ol’ days with this reality series.
Deadliest Catch – Discovery Channel – Tuesday, April 13, 9 p.m. (ET)
Sixth-season premiere of the popular series. Watching people catch crabs never gets old.
This special examines the enigmatic doctor and his world. Expect more questions than answers.
Doctor Who – BBC America – Saturday, April 17, 9 p.m. (ET)
Fifth season premiere of the British cult hit. Featuring a new Doctor and a new sidekick trying to save the world.
Ax Men – History Channel – Sunday, April 18, 10 p.m. (ET)
This is the third-season finale of this series following loggers. They’ve already made it through three seasons…but can they still hack it?
Based on the novels. All your fantasies come true thanks to Syfy (okay, only fantasy novels, but it counts). There are two consecutive two-hour blocks, so TiVo this bad boy to avoid commercials (and fatigue).
Tough Love Couples – VH1 – Monday, April 12, 9 p.m. (ET)
Premiere! This is the spin-off of the show Tough Love, where a matchmaker teaches unlovable women to be less annoying. This one, however, focuses on couples. It’s couples counseling in primetime. Could you be any more excited?
Glee – Fox – Tuesday, April 13, 9:28 p.m. (ET)
This TV favorite is back after a long absence. And now, two big deal musical theater actors will be guest starring. Finally, an opportunity for you to tell your girlfriend about your affinity for jazz hands.