Red Roses are the traditional gift given on Valentine’s Day, but beware! You need to know what message you’re sending! The color of the roses that you sent could have a very different meaning from what you intended. Before you dial up those roses, understand what you’re getting yourself into (or out of!) If you have questions, ask the florist! they understand that heterosexual men are usually lost when it comes to this stuff. Don’t be shy.
Red roses proclaim “I love you”, and are the ultimate symbol of romantic love on Valentine’s Day. This isn’t to say you can’t buy a girl red roses unless you’ve already traded the “I Love You” bomb, but it certainly sends the “Go ahead, say it.”
Yellow roses indicate friendship and freedom — so don’t send them if your intentions are romantic, long-term, or if you already did forearms that day.
Pale Pink, Light Pink, or Deep Pink Roses
Pale pink roses connote grace, gentleness, and gratitude. Light Pink Roses indicate “A joy to behold”, and express fun and happiness. Deep pink roses say “Thank you.” They have also come to be associated with the fight against breast cancer. Truth be told though most people think any shade of pink means “I Like You – not quite Love, but likely in the future”, so it’s a good / safe choice.
Lilac roses indicate the sender has fallen in love at first sight with the recipient and is enchanted. You can get a lot of mileage out of these if your target knows what they mean, but try not to be a complete douchebag, or I’ll do the same to your sister . . .or Mom.
Pure white roses symbolize truth and innocence. They also send other messages: “I miss you” and “You’re heavenly.”
Peach roses speak of appreciation and gratitude. . .so I guess I’ll send them on the 15th.
Coral or orange roses communicate enthusiasm and desire on the part of the sender. Sending them with a vibrator and a basket of sex gels communicates that you desire to do awful, terrible unspeakable things to her as soon as possible. (Send the pictures to Editor@teamcoed.com)
Regardless of the original color, dead roses say “It’s over” loud and clear.
Now somewhere along the line some prick decided to make things even more tough by combining rose colors like their God Damn Jelly Bellies. I don’t appreciate this, so “F” him, but put two or more colors of roses together, and a new rose meaning arises:
White Roses + Yellow Roses – A symbol of harmony.
Red Roses + Yellow Roses – A message of happiness and celebration.
Red Roses + White Roses – An indication of bonding and harmony.
Orange Roses + Red Roses – I’ve been thinking about attempting anal with you. (Just kidding to see if you were paying attention)
Single Red Rose – “I love you” (but I’m not going to go broke telling you. Did you think I actually liked Ramen Noodles).
Single Rose Any Color – “I thank you” (and I’m still not going to go broke saying so. Here, have a noodle.)
Two Roses Entwined – An engagement or marriage is imminent.
So Where to Get Them? FTD can deliver up to the very day anywhere in the World (for the most part – if your girl is a pygmy, or an aborigine living in the Australian Outback then I guess you’re screwed (and very weird) (To go to their website click here) (FTD – not the aborigines you freak!)
. . .and here’s a great alternative that will last forever and not set you back much more than any other flower gift, A 24 Karat authentic long stem rose is specially grown, handpicked, preserved and guaranteed to last forever from Steven Singer Jewelers. A Red Rose is dipped in 24 karat yellow gold, allowing the vibrant red petals to shine, and enclosed in a special gold foil gift box with an official card of authenticity and lifetime guarantee. It ships “Ready for giving”, and a pretty good deal at $60. Buy it here.
But don’t wait! FTD’s number is 1-800-736-3383. They also have great options for Mom, and Grandma!