Movies this Week: January 22nd, 2010

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It’s apocalypse time (say, the third major apocalypse film this year) with Legion, starring Paul Bettany as Michael the Archangel who protects a band of people after God becomes fed up with humanity and sends legions of angels to dispose of us. But why protect these people, you (and probably God) might ask.  Well it turns out that an ordinary waitress may be pregnant with the second coming of Christ – Oh how awesomely Terminator-ish! Archangel Michael is a total angel ass kicking machine, stuff gets blown up, people get their throats ripped out – Your girlfriend will hate it!  Total must see for guys, and our applause to the people behind it for having the sack to put out a film that will no doubt get the church’s Superman underoos (follow me on that?) in a bunch.  Praise Michael!

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Extraordinary Measures

Starring Brendan Fraser and Harrison Ford as two guys teaming up to form a bio-tech company after finding out that Fraser’s kids have an incurable, fatal disease. As they both go in pursuit of the same goal with different drives, “one driven to prove himself and his theories, the other by a chance to save his children, this unlikely alliance eventually develops into mutual respect as they battle the medical and business establishments in a fight against the system – and time.”   Sounds good but the word is it was shot in a soft lens reminiscent of a Lifetime movie – Proceed with caution.  The lifetime thing wight be some negotiating coin for an after hours session – use it.


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Creation

Limited Release

Not in the mood to see Paul Bettany as Michael the Archangel in Legion? Well you can see him play a completely opposite role as Charles Darwin in Creation, which chronicles the journey made in writing the book “On the Origin of Species,” which goes on to become the foundation for evolutionary biology. Also starring Jennifer Connelly as his sexy wife, or is that the sexy Jennifer Connelly as his wife? Given this is the 1800s, it’s probably the latter.  Either way this move was very intellignetly designed, which is a hell of a lot more (pun intended) that anyone can say about creationism., but don;t believe me.  Watch the movie.  And if we’re wrong . . .see you in hell.


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To Save a Life

Limited Release

One of those “save one life, save multiple lives in the process,” movies where a high school outcast heads to campus with a handgun, and “makes a tragic move.” As Jake Taylor examines his own life and what pushed his friend to do what he did, he starts acting differently in school and more accepting of everyone around him…which in turn pushes those he thought he loved further away. Well good for him I suppose, though I’m trying to figure out if this movie has a bit more of a meaty message than the ol’ “let’s all get along” philosophy.


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Tooth Fairy

Just a few years ago, The Rock was facing off against Christopher Walken in the Rundown, taking on an entire village with his sheer strength and dual-wielding shotguns, after taking out the entire New England Patriots defensive line in a nightclub, which was after a quick salutation cameo from Arnold Schwarzenegger (essentially passing the all American action hero baton to the Rock). Now he’s Dwayne Johnson as a Fairy in the Tooth Fairy, who proclaims “We can’t handle the Tooth!”

I’d like to take this moment and apologize to “The Spy Next Door” last week for making fun of Jackie Chan and the movie. Apparently there is something lower than a bottom of a barrel.  Rock – we finally know what that smell is, you cheesy sell-out.  If ever there was a guy to inherent to action hero mantle . . .now Will Smith and Ted Theodore Logan are our only hope.


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Also coming out (in very limited release) this week:

The Paranoids (NYC)
The Girl on the Train (NYC)
Drool (LA)

COED Writer
COED Writer
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