Don’t Cologne It a Comeback!

In the 70s, the mainstreaming of pungent odors like Old Spice and Hai Karate delivered a boost to masculinity that could only be rivaled by Viagra. Things were good. The ladies loved the hairy chest, man-scent and musk ruled supreme. The 80s came along and brought with it ET and the growth of androgynous boy-like sex icons – aka Johnny Depp and Kevin Bacon. It was getting scary. Davidoff and Cool Water made some feel like there was an inside joke going around that not everyone was privy to.

Then it happened; a 90s scenting-schism of theological proportion took hold with the dawn of odors like Drakkar, Joop and CK One. This coincided with the resurgence of patchouli, as many scent-conscious males would rather have smelled like a hippie-vegan-douche, than wear any of the aforementioned fragrances.

Today, we witnessing the age of enlightenment when it comes to proper scenting. Over-fragranced body washes are great if you are a stripper in a developing nation, but a little obnoxious if we are sharing a slow elevator to the 10th floor. If you are still wearing any of the above “colognes,” you need to stop now and keep reading.

No man needs a library of colognes, but every man should have at least one good standby, something for the ladies-type cologne. We have compiled a couple of list of essential haves and have-nots when it comes to proper straight male scenting.

HUGO Element is the closest thing to a wing man smell as you can find. It is reliable. Element is like that friend that promised he wouldn’t drink, so you could party. On the Something For the Ladies (SFL) scale, it will consistently push you a half-level out of your league. If you follow the link, you can score a sample. One bottle should last you a year to a year and half. If you go through the bottle in less time, you need to ease up and read about ‘diminishing marginal utility.’

If you want confuse women as to whether or not you are into dudes, FIERCE by Abercrombie and Fitch is for you. It will tell people, “I may be bi-curious, but I am definitely a Tyra fan!” Don’t get me wrong, Abercrombie is the shopping mall haven for rich jailbait – but when it comes to SFL scale, FIERCE will take to you automatic androgeny.

Sometimes, you just want to be alone. You want to live by yourself, eating frozen dinners and watching old Discovery Channel specials. We have all been there. If by chance, you are a good looking, charming guy – you’ll find that alone time is hard to come by. That’s ok – we have 2 scenting for you. The first, and harder to come by, is hopping on a flight to Hoth, killing a TaunTaun and then crawling into its body cavity. The other option, is Drakkar Noir.

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