The 7 Household Highs You Shouldn’t Have Tried

Before you were old enough to buy beer or have your own pot delivery guy, you probably did some pretty stupid-ass things to yourself in effort to add a little excitement to the unbearable reality of high school.  From smoking banana peels to toothpaste-laced cigarettes, your options were pretty much limited to whatever you could scrounge up around the house or under the kitchen sink.  And despite the fact that abusing these products can land you behind bars in most states, you gave ’em a try.  Here are 7 such household products that got you high, but you probably shouldn’t have tried.

Reddi Wip

When you’re 15-years-old, finding out you can get goofy from canned whipped cream is like finding out Santa Clause is real – and you can buy him at the grocery store. The secret in this one is nitrous oxide– the same thing you get at the dentist. Only difference is, no 15-year-old knows what he’s doing.

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‘Tussin

Let me tell you about something about drinking vast amounts of Robitussin – you know, robotrippin’: It’s about as good as it gets when it comes to household highs. And the feeling? It can only be described as making everything more 3-D. Lights pop and objects seem more real than reality. And doing straight DXM, the drug you’re feeling, gives a mild trip, but mainly just makes you unable to do anything at all. Which sounds fun, I guess…

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Freon

Do not do this one, ever. It will f**king kill you. And the only thing you get is dizzy – like, really dizzy. Try standing-up too fast and then multiply that by 10, to a point where you can fall and crack your teeth on the pavement or worse. But still, people do it. And it’s not pretty.

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Dust Off

Dust Off is like Reddy Wip times a million. And if it didn’t kill so many brain cells, it might be a lot of fun. While it does make you feel numb, euphoric and silly, the best part is that it makes your voice hilariously low. This happens because the just-frozen difluoroethane gas slows your vocal chords down (by freezing them!), and I’m pretty sure you can buy something at Radio Shack that will do basically the same thing without risking your ability to speak. Actually, let me take that back – don’t shop at Radio Shack.

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Spray Paint

A spray paint-huffer is one of the easiest addicts to identify. (Just look for the guy with the silver 5-o’clock shadow.) But the thing you don’t see is all the rest of the paint that is now coating the guy’s lungs. It will seriously f**k you up, with extreme psychoactive effects. On the other hand, nerve and organ damage. So, take your pick…

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Nutmeg

With just four to eight teaspoons of this strong spice, you can land yourself some mild hallucinations – if you can get it down at all. But when the “fun” is over, if you can call feeling horribly sick fun, the hellish hangover kicks in. The suckitude is so strong, you’ll be wishing you’d instead decided to down a couple bottles of tequila.

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Rubber Cement Newspaper Cigarettes

It gives me a headache just thinking about doing this. And I’m not even sure anyone other than this one dude I kinda know from ‘a reputable copying and shipping business’ has ever done this, but I had to include this because it’s the only thing I’ve ever heard of more crack-head than smoking newspaper and rubber cement cigarettes. I have no idea what it does, but if anything will f**k you up (in more ways than one), it’s this horrible high.

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The Oxford English Dictionary Has Gone Retarded
The Oxford English Dictionary Has Gone Retarded
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