Pledging: “The Best Time of Your Life, But You’ll Never Do it Again”

I remember hearing that phrase, “The Best time of your life, But You’ll Never do it Again.”  At least that’s what I heard when I had a sports jacket on and all the “brothers” were cheering me on as we got drunk and had fun on bid day.

And sure it was fun the first couple of weeks when we had to do little chores for the brothers and even humiliate yourself for a gag or two.

It’s fine to degrade yourself by being the “lotion boy” and having to ask girls if you can rub them down in the middle of the quad.  It’s even funny to wear ridiculous costumes and be a drunk moron for a few hours. That’s college and that’s the privilege of youth.

But I’ll never forget the day when the brothers first said “Get on your faces!”

Lying on your face in a pile of douche, letting guys paddle the crap out of you, abuse you, yell at you, and make you eat things I can’t even mention on here….Is that really all necessary to “bring together” a pledge class over the course of three months?

I mean I actually kidnapped two seniors with my pledge brothers and left them for dead.  It was one of the seniors.  We literally dragged him out of his house half naked in the middle of the night and drove him about an hour outside of school.  We got the guys completely hammered and basically left them there with a quarter to call the other seniors.

This was all “part of your initiation.”  Are you kidding me?  The stuff we did back then?  I literally could have over 30 years worth of jail time for the crap I pulled.

Hell we got into a fight with another fraternity and there were sledgehammers involved.

When I look back at this experience I think to myself, “was this really necessary?” And I answer that question, “clearly it wasn’t necessary and clearly it was the best time of my life and I’ve never do it again.”

And I ask myself why it was the best time?  It was college people.  That’s the only reason.  College.  What a place.

But I guess it’s kind of bad, you know. This hazing and all. Let’s tone it down guys.

Student Starts Dorm Fire With Joint, Charged With Arson
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