He Said / She Said: Are Thongs Really The Way To Go?

Society has been telling women for years that the sexiest thing to sport under just about anything is a thong. But what do guys really think? What do they really want to see when they shimmy that girl out of her newest pair of skinnies? Or, do they even really care? I mean…they got our pants off. Isn’t that enough?

He Said:
Guys don’t really know much about women’s underwear past “This type gives me a boner, that type doesn’t.” When you’re in high school (or from Long Island), thongs are the best thing this side of Steak and a Blow Job Day–mainly because the tops of thongs usually pop up above girls’ pants, drawing our eyes and attention directly to the butt part of the body, flooding our imaginations with arrest-worthy thoughts.

Still, some (adult) dudes will tell you they like the thong best–on certain girls. But nowadays, it’s all about the boy-shorts. These fantastic bottoms create a magical under-ass area that does wonders for a man’s mood–if you’re depressed, just ask your girl to throw on a pair, you’ll see what I mean. They look good on girls of all shapes and sizes, are nice to touch when we’re fooling around, and are perfect attire for the WiiFit. Ladies, if you only have one type of underwear (which you don’t), make it boy-shorts–we’ll never complain.

Another thing I must point out is that LACE SUCKS! Despite what you might think, it’s not sexy, and does nothing for us. The best way to go is soft. The softer the underwear looks and feels, the more we want to touch it, and you in the process. But remember, in the end, all we really care about is getting whatever you’re wearing off as quickly as humanly possible.

She Said:
I hate thongs. HATE. I hate the way they look. I hate the way they expose my cellulite. I haaate the way they feel. And I hate the way they pop out over the top of pants. I don’t care if they don’t show up under a pair of pants or a skirt – not. worth. it. When I want to avoid panty lines, I simply avoid panties (and paparazzi when I’m exiting my car).

I may stand alone here, but when it comes to undies I am all about the comfort. I don’t care if you think they are granny-ish (and since when are BIKINI’S granny panties?); they do not give me a wedgie, therefore I like them. Guys are always drooling over a nice thong, but it really never made sense to me.

Have you ever ? Like, really looked? Because if you did, you would realize that they look good on maybe .2% of the population. For the rest of us, they come up far too high and expose waaaay too much skin to be even remotely attractive. Step away from the digitally enhanced porn for a minute and take a look at a real woman. She doesn’t need to be wearing a string up her ass to be sexy.

The fact that boys are now coming forward in support of the Boy Short has me shaking with excitement in my…er…boy shorts! Wooooo! Finally, a pair of underwear that is cute, comfortable, provides ample coverage AND is considered sexy. Thank you, boys. Thank you.

COED Vault: Scholarship Motivations
COED Vault: Scholarship Motivations
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