Back in the ’70s and ’80s, when Robin Williams did a lot of stand-up (and coke), he was one of the best in the business. His fast-talking, freak-the-hell-out kind of comedy was one of the most scorching acts on the scene. But since cranking out a long line of family-friendly crapfests like Mrs. Doubtfire and Patch Adams, Williams has become more like a giant flaming grizzly bear on meth than a comedian. So please, Robin, for the love of all that’s good in this world, stop screaming at us. We’re not laughing.
Robin Williams in his prime
Robin Williams past his time
After being hand-picked for Russell Simmons’ Def Comedy Jam, Martin Lawrence quickly became one of the top comedians of the 90’s. His series, Martin had a good run from ’92 to ’97, featuring gut-busting characters, like Mama Payne and Sheneneh Jenkins. And his string of box office blockbusters are certainly impressive. But from 2000 on, Lawrence began spewing serious piles of crap like Black Knight and National Security. And no, Big Momma’s House doesn’t count – anyone can thrown on a fat suit and squeeze out a couple of laughs.
Martin Lawrence in his prime
Martin Lawrence past his time
Mike Myers is arguably one of the funniest men of all-time. Most everything he did while on SNL is some form of comic genius, and Wayne’s World will forever have a special place in our hearts (right next to beer and side-boobs). And his Austin Powers franchise was surprisingly funny from start to finish. In fact, we don’t have many complaints. That is, until the vile, soul-sucking waste of time that is The Love Guru came to be. Seriously, this one is unforgivable. Sorry, Mike, you f**ked up.
Mike Myers in his prime
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Mike Myers past his time
Andrew Dice Clay
One of the most offensively hilarious comedians of all-time, Andrew Dice Clay’s searing comedic genius was as good as it got for a couple of years. But instead of changing up his jokes as times changed, Dice just kept telling the same old schtick while getting fatter and balder by the minute. Then came his reality show Dice: Undisputed, which was supposed to be his relaunching pad, but instead revealed him to be the washed-up asshole he is.
Andrew Dice Clay in his prime
Andrew Dice Clay past his time
Ok, ok, settle down. We know pretty much everyone ever has a hard-on for the late George Carlin. But that doesn’t change the fact that after “Seven Dirty Words,” all Carlin did was a bunch of bit rolls and a lot of righteous complaining. We know, he did 14 stand-up specials and is considered one of the greatest comedians of all-time, but that’s mostly because anytime someone mentions that he might be anything less than Einstein and Richard Pryor rolled into one, his fans start screaming like little girls. In fact, we can already hear them now…
George Carlin in his prime
George Carlin past his time
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