What It’s Like to Be … a Nude Model

Recently, I found myself strapped for cash and needed a way to supplement my income. Like most people, I gave plasma until I had trouble tapping my bean without getting lightheaded. Not sure what to do next, I saw an ad in the paper for a job that seemed perfect…nude model.

I am not a hottie by any stretch of the imagination, but I didn’t think I was gross either. WTF! I decided to try nude modeling! The gigs were usually just a few hours, and they paid well above minimum wage. Why not?

I called a few local college art departments. ‘There’s a shortage of nude models,’ I was told. So, career advice Number 1: find an in-demand job. As a bonus, there’s no interview necessary – so stage fright isn’t much of an issue THERE. But the nudity-thing is a great deterrent for any competition.

During my first class, things started out fine. I walked in, disrobed, ignored the goosebumps forming on my skin (note to profs: turn up the heat – my nips were so hard I cut through the tension) and walked on to a platform in the center of the room as the professor gave me instructions for my first pose. It was pretty simple: I just had to sit still for twenty minutes. I could do that, right?

But then my legs started shaking. It dawned on me that I was the only naked person in the room! I looked out at the rows of students, who were busily sketching me while their instructor discussed the angles and shadows of ‘the figure’ and I realized I was just their subject for the day. That’s it. And I took a deep breath and relaxed. Thank GOD I made the decision to pre-game a little bit, in an attempt to loosen my inhabitions – I didn’t want to be the drunk-nude-model like Will Ferrel on SNL but it helped be the equalizer, Thank you Kettle-One!

Now that I have done this for awhile, nude modeling has become just another way to make a buck. The other day I was standing in front of a professor, completely nude, while he discussed what he wanted the next pose to look like. And it felt perfectly normal. [Note: this took place in a classroom, not the professor’s ‘private office.’ Perv.]

Besides the money, I’ve also gained more confidence in my body. Instead of hating it for what it isn’t, I can appreciate it for what it is: a unique work of art. Not to mention – you want an easy way to meet people…pose nude in their art class!

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Get Your Booty: A (Self-Proclaimed) Player’s Guide to Getting a Girl
Get Your Booty: A (Self-Proclaimed) Player’s Guide to Getting a Girl
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