More Things That Changed College…Forever

Continuing our coverage from our previous article Things That Changed College…Forever, COED presents…More Things That Changed College…Forever!

iPod (AYE-pohd) n. – 1. A portable media device created by Apple computer company that is designed around the idea of a user friendly click-wheel. 2. An obsession. 3. A must-have video MP3 player for college students to use on the way to class, in class and at parties when plugged into oversized speakers to blast Journey. 4. A convenient way to ignore annoying people/homeless people begging for money when walking to and from class. “I got my iPOD a week ago, and Apple has already come out with three new models since.”

Cell Phone (SELL fone) n. – 1. A portable telephone that uses low powered radio transmitters and computers to send a call from one person to another. Also allow users to send text messages and take photos. 2. A status symbol – the smaller/shinier/more expensive the phone, the cooler the user. 3. A vessel through which drunk people can call an ex, a friend, (accidentally) a parent or a current lover and act like a complete idiot before forgetting the call ever occurred the following morning. “Becky – drunk from too many games of Flip Cup – dropped her cell phone in the toilet while trying to master the art of drunk-dialing and peeing simultaneously.”

The Dave Matthews Band (thuh dayve MATHyoos bahnd) n. – 1. American rock band formed in Charlottsville, VA, in 1991 and named after its lead singer, Dave Matthews. 2. American rock band that once created popular songs like “Crash,” “One Sweet World,” and “Tripping Billies,” but hasn’t actually written anything good in years and simply depends on the fact that its fans are usually drunk and high when listening. 3. Band behind 15-minute songs and guitar solos that are often heard late at night coming from behind closed dorm room/frat house doors (while people hook up, study or get really, really high). “Dave Matthews Band is the best band of all time! Yeah!”

Flip-flops (FLIHP flohps) n. 1. Backless, often foam-soled, shoe that is held on the foot with a thong that goes between the first and second toe. 2. Best protection against germs, bacteria, urine and disease when using public showers/bathrooms in college dorms. 3. Must-have for anyone living in a fraternity house to protect against glass, bodily fluids and sticky beer stains in all public places (including kitchen). “Ew! Did you know that Olga showers without flip-flops?! SICK!!”

Herpes (HUR pees) n. 1. Sexually transmitted disease spread through skin-to-skin contact often characterized by large sores on the mouth and/or genitals. 2. Sign that the girl you wanna hook up with is a woman of ill repute. “My boyfriend told me I got herpes from the tractor. Is that possible?”

Things That Changed College…Forever
Things That Changed College…Forever
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