In a world where strippers make more money than most political figures, is it wrong to teach the youth of today the art of pole-dancing?
The answer is a resounding YES.
In Australia, kids – I’m talking kids, like 7-year-old girls and boys – are being registered (by their parents, mind you) to take pole-dancing lessons.
Yes: everybody knows that strippers are well-toned athletes and intense trainers that go for the Olympic Gold every time they bleach their ******* and dollar bills get stuffed straight up their G-strings by old pervs.
When did throwing the ball around become too passe? When I was a strapping young man I would chop wood and shingle roofs to get my bod looking like this guys.
Now we have kids not old enough to handle their no-no parts correctly gyrating and shimmying up stripper poles in the name of exercise.
Grab an axe and chop away, young boy – at the very least you’ll be able to fend off anybody who attempts to kick your ass when they hear about your past experience sliding down a stripper pole.
And girls? Don’t worry – you’ll have plenty of time in the future to handle poles.