Seeing George Clooney trot out of his estate clutching the “Liberator” sex ramp got me thinking: why use the Liberator?
Couldn’t you get the same effect the Liberator provides by piling up pillows into the shape of a ramp? Why does this company deserve my money?
After a bit of web sleuthing I can now see the charms in this portable coitus cushion.
Liberator products – yes, they sell much more than the sex ramp; more on that later – are IKEA-esque cushions, couches and ramps that are used for the same reason you lay down newspaper for your dog: mess control. The last thing you need is a not-so-secretive splooge stain on the futon your mom bought as a housewarming gift.
As sex props, these pieces of sexual furniture do their job. Each cushion is designed for maximum pleasure in a particular position; the “Zeppelin” acts as a “love ship” modeled for threesomes and orgies while the “Cube” (main pic is tasteful; others are NSFW) is all about space-saving sex.
The “Cube” in particular is convenient, for after using it as a performance piece it “disguises itself as a chic Ottoman,” according to the Liberator website. If I walked into my friend’s house and saw a bright-blue cushion in the corner of his bedroom I’m sure as hell not going to put my feet on it.
With that said, Liberator’s stable of sex seats reveal a certain character about whoever owns one. It shows that you’re comfortable with freaky sex; it shows you’re liberated.
Comfortable, freaky, liberated – sounds like Liberator’s mantra to me.
The Liberator proves that George Clooney is a comfortable, freaky, liberated guy. Good for him.