Do These 10 Things If You Wanna Look Like a Tool!

Tools” don’t know they are tools. Chances are if you’re a tool your friends haven’t had the heart to break it to you so turn off that Avril Lavigne song you’re rockin’ out to and take a look at Magnificant Bastard’sTop 10 Ways To Look Like a Total Toolbad.”

It has pictures and discriptions so if you find yourself fitting any of the catagories it’s time for a personal life makeover.

1. Backwards baseball hat – Do you play catcher for a major league ball club? Minor league? Local softball team? No? Then don’t do this.

2. Oakley blades – Your Tour de France riding days are over, pal.

3. bluetooth headset – 1. Trust us, you’re not that important. You’re now just one-degree removed from Lando Calrissian’s bald android assistant.

4. Gold necklace –  Rap moguls, NBA stars, and Mr. T excluded. Some white guy from the ‘burbs, nuh uh.

5. Tommy bahama shirt  – When in Hawaii, this is OK. In the upper 49, toolbag.

6. national review magazine – In close association with bad style, bad politics.

7. belt-clipped cell phone – Scream “I am a middle manager!” a little louder. The guy across the street didn’t hear you.

8. “cause” wristband –  Exceptions made if you or immediate family member is battling various wristband maladies. Otherwise, grab a scissors.

9.  over-the-knee, double-pleated shorts – Two things wrong here: 1. 4 pleats. 2. Over the knee.

10. crocs –  The Zubaz of the ’00s. Here’s a good rule to live by: Never wear the same shoes as your 5-year-old nephew.

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