Drunk Astronauts Give New Meaning to AirSick Bags

In the wonderful world (bubble) of a college student, it seems very little can be accomplished without an adequate “pregameâ€? beforehand. It’s common to hear exchanges like,“Wanna go bowling tonight?â€?
“Dude yea! Let’s pregame!â€?

“We should go see that new horror flick guys.â€?
“Hell yea, but it’ll be ten times scarier if we smoke the herb first!â€?

“Putt Putt?â€?
“Tequila!â€?

So if anyone can understand why there has been an outbreak of drunk astronauts, college kids take the cake:

“Ready for take off?â€?
“We got a couple minutes, man. Finish the flaskâ€?

Hollywood never called dibs on juicy scandals, so NASA decided to join the fun. Controversy has broken out when a recently published article in an aviation mag exposed NASA for allegedly sending astronauts up into space whilst wasted. Yes, you read right, sloshed, hammered, intoxicated. Houston, we have a problem.

The media had a field day over Lohans’s beaming collection of DUI’s , so what about these suspected cases of LWI? (Launching While Intoxicated!) Well, NASA attorney claims it’s just another case of so-called, “spacial profiling.â€? Damn him for beating me to the punch, since I don’t think I could have ever come up with a more clever term. Explaining that astronauts are “differentâ€? than normal Americans, (???) Apollo attorney claimed that they were simply being discriminated against, feebly attempting to illegitimize the issue.

I mean, I guess it’s a good thing there’s not much they can bump into up there, but since when is launching a spaceship a good last stop for your weekend bender? Should NASA be worried that pretty soon, like in 10-9-8-7…sober liftoffs will become just as extinct as sober Friday nights in my freshman dorm?

Understandable, that NASA’s become a bit more lenient ever since Lance Bass decided he wanted to ride a rocket (I’m sorry, it was too easy) but this is a little much.

Sober up fellas! That’s one small whisky shot for man, one giant sloppy stumble for mankind, and an even bigger pain in NASA’s ass.

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