Courtney, you win. There have been way too many “photo shoots” of the quasi-famous (arguably) 17 year-old Courtney Stodden that we’ve skipped over because they’re too… disturbing. This one can’t go unnoticed, though. Here she can be found celebrating Christmas by sitting on her 51 year-old husband’s lap and showing off her red two-piece bikini. If Courtney’s alluring and adulterous alliterations on Twitter aren’t enough for you, check out the dirtiest Santa’s little helper after the jump.