• Top 5 Liquors You’ve Never Heard Of

    Top 5 Liquors You’ve Never Heard Of

    Nothing gets a girl hotter than a sharp, trendsetter in the know on the latest Hip Sips . . .ok maybe a set of washboard abs and a Black Amex Card, but neither of those is readily available for under $50 bucks at the local corner liquor shop. So when you’re done cranking out crunches, and listing the bullsh*t jobs (ahem) I mean – “Valuable Work Experience” on your resume, run down to your nearest booze peddler…

     | October 2, 2010 5:00 pm | 7 COMMENTS
  • Top 3 CIA Torture Techniques Besides Waterboarding

    Top 3 CIA Torture Techniques Besides Waterboarding

    Now that the President has shown everyone in the world what $8 Billion worth of military and interrogation research can yield, it is time we ponder where the money was best spent. Yeah, yeah, yeah – waterboarding seems to get top billing, but if 9/11 mastermind can withstand over 200 sessions, we think the alternates should really get a chance.

     | August 15, 2010 2:00 pm | 13 COMMENTS
  • Idol Girls Before They Were Wor”Sheep”ed

    Idol Girls Before They Were Wor”Sheep”ed

    American Idol is in full swing again, and that means a bunch of dumbasses making fools of themselves on national televis…

     | January 18, 2010 12:00 pm | 6 COMMENTS
  • Don’t Cologne It a Comeback!

    Don’t Cologne It a Comeback!

    In the 70s, the mainstreaming of pungent odors like Old Spice and Hai Karate delivered a boost to masculinity that could only be rivaled by Viagra. Things were good. The ladies loved the hairy chest, man-scent and musk ruled supreme. The 80s came along and brought with it ET and the growth of androgynous boy-like sex icons – aka Johnny Depp and Kevin Bacon. It was getting scary.

     | November 30, 2009 4:48 pm | 2 COMMENTS
  • South Park’s (Too Many Minorities) Not My Water Park [Video & Lyrics]

    South Park’s (Too Many Minorities) Not My Water Park [Video & Lyrics]

    Out of the myriad of things wrong with today’s society, we need to thank Matt and Trey for calling attention to one of the greatest underlying causes of racial tension in the United States. Urination etiquette is of course the underlying issue, but as we all learned last night – there are just too many minorities in our waterparks. (To be fair though, there are a growing number of fat white people wearing t-shirts in the pool as well.)

     | November 19, 2009 11:03 am | 28 COMMENTS
  • Shogun Robbed by Machida at UFC 104

    Shogun Robbed by Machida at UFC 104

    Shogun “I Have No Conditioning” Rua quite literally kicked the sh*t out of him. Machida’s legs and body were as red as a baboon’s ass, but whatever he had on the UFC was enough for him to hold onto the title. I could see if Tiger Shulman’s was a sponsor or something, but it was sad.

     | October 25, 2009 12:54 am
  • Josh Barnett Pulled From Fight with Fedor Emelianenko

    Josh Barnett Pulled From Fight with Fedor Emelianenko

    This could be a BIG blow for Affliction, who was looking for the Fedor/Barnett fight to match the buzz of the now infamous Mir/Lesnar fight. We know that everyone wants Bobby Lashley to be fed the title like Lesnar was, but to throw him to Fedor too soon could be killing the potential cash cow.

     | July 22, 2009 7:09 pm | 5 COMMENTS
  • The Ultimate Fighter Season 10 Cast

    The Ultimate Fighter Season 10 Cast

    It is time for “Black-on-Black” violence in The Ultimate Fighter, as Rampage Jackson so eloquently put it. The upcoming season will be one of the highest rated ever, with the cast listing that has been put together. Sure, it features Rashaad Evans and Rampage as the coaches. Hopefully this time around, Rampage can keep from starting a high-speed car chase in his custom truck with his face and sponsors plastered on the side.

     | July 13, 2009 5:30 pm | 4 COMMENTS
  • Brock Lesnar Acted Like a Classless Punk

    Brock Lesnar Acted Like a Classless Punk

    Hey Brock, you are not in the WWE anymore. You are not fighting Papa Shongo. You, in one night, set the MMA world back 10 years. Brock is everything that no one wanted to see in MMA, a big burly white trash over-steroided douchebag who has no respect for the discipline and sport of martial arts.

     | July 12, 2009 12:37 am | 67 COMMENTS
  • Catholic Priest Bangs Hot Chick, Gets Fired [Photos]

    Catholic Priest Bangs Hot Chick, Gets Fired [Photos]

    Just in case you thought that Catholics weren’t bat-sh!t insane enough, here is another sign that the end is near. Father Alberto Cutié, who we will now refer to as Alberto, was kicked out of St. Francis de Sales parish on Miami Beach the same day photos of Alberto getting sexy with a 26-year-old woman hit the public.

     | May 7, 2009 12:30 pm | 1 COMMENT
  • Communication After the “Technology Apocalypse”

    Communication After the “Technology Apocalypse”

    Oh yes! Screw what the hippies say, the sun is public enemy #1. If we could, we should blow it up…or at least try…like Superman-IV-style. The sun is not trying to kill us yet, but it is trying something worse. The sun, the giver of light and life (sorry creationists), is trying to destroy our entire technological infrastructure.

     | April 29, 2009 11:49 am
  • Graduation is Looming in May, Now What?

    Graduation is Looming in May, Now What?

    This sucks. I busted my ass, did well in school, made smart choices. Now, I am graduating after four years of college that I paid for all myself – not through selling my “virginity” – but through loans. Now what?

     | March 23, 2009 3:00 pm | 2 COMMENTS
  • 4 Sure-Fire Ways to End Up on the Terrorist Watch List

    4 Sure-Fire Ways to End Up on the Terrorist Watch List

    As the days of “fear” and “terror” being the only sellable news stories increase, we have all heard stories of people named “Johnson” and “Smith” at the top of the terrorist watch list. No matter how many 60 Minutes specials or Dateline exclusives, I can’t help but wonder how in the hell it happens.

     | March 6, 2009 11:41 am | 18 COMMENTS
  • ObamaBerry: The Sectera Edge

    ObamaBerry: The Sectera Edge

    NSA approved and about the size of an 1980′s calculator – it is as close to a BlackBerry as Presidizzle is going to get!

     | January 26, 2009 11:30 am
  • Fedor Emelianenko KOs Andre Arlovski

    Fedor Emelianenko KOs Andre Arlovski

    Arlovski had 4 inches in height, 10 lbs in weight, and a 3 inch reach advantage. Arlovski had speed and did a solid job, that helped him dominated the first minute and a half of the first round.

     | January 24, 2009 11:59 pm | 6 COMMENTS
  • Obama Appoints Judge Judy Attorney General!

    Obama Appoints Judge Judy Attorney General!

    I love me some TV on-air personalities, but when they start getting Presidential appointments – I start having issues. Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN’s chief medical correspondent, has been approached by Barack Obama’s transition team about the U.S. surgeon general’s post, according to sources inside the transition and at CNN.

     | January 7, 2009 4:15 pm | 3 COMMENTS
  • AIG’s Top 5 Retreat Sites for 2009

    AIG’s Top 5 Retreat Sites for 2009

    As we all know, modern business is defined by rewarding failure. From the economic bailout plan to golden parachutes, n…

     | January 2, 2009 5:00 pm | 1 COMMENT
  • 3 Reasons Barack Obama is No Keanu Reeves

    3 Reasons Barack Obama is No Keanu Reeves

    With trailers popping up for his new movie The Day the Earth Stood Still pending release on December 12, we are reminded t…

     | December 8, 2008 1:15 pm | 10 COMMENTS
  • 5 Ways DC Comics will Bring Bruce Wayne Back From the Dead (SPOILERS)

    5 Ways DC Comics will Bring Bruce Wayne Back From the Dead (SPOILERS)


    There are few absolute truths in the DC comic book universe. Superman can’t be around kryptonite, OA is the sourc…

     | November 28, 2008 5:28 pm | 3 COMMENTS
  • No Sympathy For Detroit’s Collapse

    No Sympathy For Detroit’s Collapse

    I have an economics professor that is such a hippie-liberal-douche, it pains me to hear him speak. Every now and then, th…

     | November 20, 2008 12:30 pm | 10 COMMENTS
  • Drunk Girls Kissing

    Drunk Girls Kissing


    Sometimes, it’s the simplest things that affect you the most–meeting the love of your life, seeing your f…

     | November 13, 2008 5:00 pm | 5 COMMENTS
  • Florida is Determined to F-up the Election…AGAIN

    Florida is Determined to F-up the Election…AGAIN

    I don’t get it.
    Having proven that the State of Florida cannot handle relatively simple tasks, as was the case in t…

     | October 28, 2008 9:00 am | 2 COMMENTS
  • Please Come Down To The Office, You Have AIDS!

    Please Come Down To The Office, You Have AIDS!

    Students at a suburban St. Louis high school headed to the gymnasium for HIV testing this week after an infected person t…

     | October 24, 2008 11:30 am
  • Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac: Do you get it?

    Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac: Do you get it?


    Let us begin in the beginning…
    Freddie Mac’s full legal name is the Federal Home Loan Mortgage Corporatio…

     | September 10, 2008 12:00 pm | 4 COMMENTS
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