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Jul 9, 2010Sports
Coldplay vs. The Stooges: 2010 World Cup Final Preview

Coldplay vs. The Stooges: 2010 World Cup Final Preview

The 2010 World Cup final on Sunday will be a study in styles, a contrast in the fluid passing and sideways possession of Spain, and the more dynamic and physical style of the Dutch. The Netherlands have been mostly undoing their reputation for an overly-aggressive style during this World Cup, with the only hold-outs being midfield reducers Mark Van Bommel and Nigel de Jong.

Jul 7, 2010Sports
Paul The Octopus Goes Six For Six… Spain Advances to 2010 World Cup Final

Paul The Octopus Goes Six For Six… Spain Advances to 2010 World Cup Final

Paul the Octopus continued his astonishing streak of correctly predicting the outcome of German national soccer matches, with his record now standing at 10-1. The only match he got wrong was the last time Spain and Germany met, in the European Championships in 2008. Now the world is faced with a genuine oracle. The two year-old cephalopod should get a job as pundit for Sky Sports, at least he knows his football.

Jul 7, 2010Sports
Holland Heads to Johannesburg

Holland Heads to Johannesburg

The Oranjemen booked their place in Johannesburg for the 2010 World Cup final with a narrow escape from a Uruguayan side that played with plenty of passion but left it too late in the game before mounting a would-be comeback. Uruguay's Diego Forlan was again in impressive form and dictated the South Americans' attack, since Suarez was serving a one match suspension for his infamous handball.

Jul 5, 2010Sports
World Cup Semi-Final Preview: Europa Uber Alles

World Cup Semi-Final Preview: Europa Uber Alles

Four teams now stand poised on the brink of World Cup glory: Spain, Germany, Holland, and Uruguay. Winning the ultimate...

Jul 3, 2010Sports
God, Cocaine, and Handballs: World Cup Quarterfinal Recap Germany vs Argentina

God, Cocaine, and Handballs: World Cup Quarterfinal Recap Germany vs Argentina

It takes more than god, cocaine, and undetected handballs to win a World Cup, at least in 2010. The young,...

Jul 2, 2010Sports
Jesus Hates Brazil: Netherlands Advance to Semi Finals

Jesus Hates Brazil: Netherlands Advance to Semi Finals

Two things we learned, at least, from the Holland vs. Brazil match today, is that Jesus hates Brazil, and it's always important to stay Melo. Brazil's Kaka is the world's most expensive striker and was expected to be one of the stars of this World Cup. Known for praying on the pitch after the 2002 World Cup win, and for revealing messages like "I belong to Jesus" on his t-shirts beneath his team jersey after scoring, apparently Jesus' infatuation with Brazilian soccer is at an end.

Jul 1, 2010Sports
And Then There Were 8: 2010 World Cup Quarterfinal Preview

And Then There Were 8: 2010 World Cup Quarterfinal Preview

Today is a day for rest and reflection. The World Cup has entered its deadly serious phase, with 8 teams left standing: Paraguay, Ghana, Uruguay, Spain, Argentina, Holland, Germany, and Brazil, in rough order of their chances of succeeding.