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Articles Written
288
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LATEST ARTICLES WRITTEN
Dec 23, 2010

How To Cuddle Correctly

Even the most macho male can admit that cuddling in bed is pretty rad - unless your arm gets trapped underneath a pile of pillows, losing all blood circulation while your girl sleeps easy. I never thought somebody would have the brains or patience to solve this problem of all problems, but I was wrong: here is a list of superior snuggling tips.

Dec 23, 2010

Brew Review: Samuel Adams Winter Lager

When I'm holed up indoors during the winter months I find myself appreciating the taste of beer far more than any other season. Mark it up to cabin fever if you want, but my taste buds pucker up in cold weather. Samuel Adams Winter Lager, one of the brewing company's many great season-specific beers, doesn't disappoint in my constant need for a well-bodied, alcoholic beverage in cool weather.

Dec 23, 2010

Winter is Here! It’s Time to Style That Facial Hair

This winter, forget the clean-shaven look of summer and sport the facial hair. Varying this aspect of your image during cold weather gives you several opportunities to mix things up. You’ll enjoy finding new cost-effective ways to reinvent yourself. Even better, you’ll find the ladies loving the new you.

Aug 21, 2010

Brew Review: Stella Artois

On the rare instance I make it to Happy Hour, my choice of beer is usually one that can take the edge off without being too expensive (and complex) or too cheap (and cheap-tasting). I'd say eight times out of ten, Stella Artois does the job. The pride of Belgium pours a light golden color with plenty of frothy head and bubbles; a grassy, citrus scent gives way to a smell of slightly skunked beer, which isn't very attractive to say the least. Still, its distinct stink is similar to almost every Euro Pale Lager I've encountered, so methinks its hereditary...

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Dec 21, 2008

“Riverbottom Nightmare Band” is the Greatest Christmas Song of All Time

It’s indisputable: “Riverbottom Nightmare Band” is not only the greatest Christmas song of all time, but the greatest song of...

COED Vault: The World Sexual Relationship Database

As far as W.H.O.M. (World Health Optimization Management) is concerned, it’s a great idea to publish the sexual history of...

Aug 9, 2008

The Big Hurt Told to Beat-it!

The Toronto Blue Jays released slumping designated hitter Frank Thomas Sunday, cutting the 19-year veteran loose one day after he...

Apr 21, 2008

Roof Jump Goes Horribly Bad

This guy attempts to body slam his buddy from his roof but misses the landing and bounces off the ground...

Apr 18, 2008

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Apr 17, 2008

Today is National High Five Day

If you’re up to snuff on your odd holidays, you should be aware that every third Thursday of April is...

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Apr 16, 2008

“The Babysitters” Movie Trailer

The Babysitters is a 2007 independent film directed by David Ross. It stars John Leguizamo, Cynthia Nixon and Katherine Watterson....

Apr 15, 2008

Scarlett Johansson’s First Available Track: “Anywhere I Lay My Head”

The fine folks at Stereogum have linked up to Scarlett Johannson’s first song off her upcoming album of Tom Waits’...

Apr 15, 2008

“The Mclovin’ Fund” with Kristen Bell and Christopher Mintz-Plasse

Another PSA from Judd Apatow with Forgetting Sarah Marshall‘s Kristen Bell and Superbad‘s Christopher Mintz-Plasse. Made for the “Night of...

Apr 14, 2008

Reversing the Curse: Red Sox Jersey Excavated From Yankee Stadium

In one of the funnier stories in sports, a construction worker/Yankee hater/Red Sox lover working on the Yankees new stadium...

Apr 12, 2008

Kobe Bryant Jumps an Aston Martin

Real or fake, either way it’s rad:...

Apr 11, 2008

Wilford Brimley Diabeetus Remix

Do you have Diabeetus? Die die die die diabeetus? Props to GorillaMask for finding this!...

Apr 11, 2008

Celebrity MILF Island

Last night’s episode of 30 Rock revolved around a faux reality show called MILF Island. Needless to say it was...

Apr 10, 2008

Get Stoned with Tom Cruise…Purple

Hey kids…wanna get high? I have every strain of marijuana you could ever ask for — Hawaiian Kush, Northern Lights,...

Apr 9, 2008

Sickest Beer Pong Skills Ever

Dude needs to be featured on every late night talk show at the very least, and become the international representative...

Apr 9, 2008

Hot Blonde Gets Rid of One Night Stand

A seriously hot blonde demonstrates a very simple way to get rid of a guy from the night before. Hot...

Apr 8, 2008

The Roots’ Collabo With Fall Out Boy Falls Apart

“Birthday Girl,” a song recorded by The Roots with Fall Out Boy’s Patrick Stump on vocals, has been taken off...

Apr 8, 2008

“Short Circuit” Remake In the Works

Number Five – Johnny Five, to be exact – is alive. The news of a Short Circuit remake has been...

Apr 8, 2008

100 MPH Line Drive Off Head

Notre Dame baseball pitcher Wade Korpi takes a line drive off the head. The radar gun picked it up off...

Apr 7, 2008

Wii Are Getting Bored: Nintendo Sales Up, Quality Releases Down

It’s the moment I feared: Nintendo Wii, like the GameCube before it – and the Nintendo 64 before that! –...

Apr 7, 2008

COED Presents: Cheerleaders of the 2008 NCAA Basketball Tournament Championship Game

Sure if the sexiness of a team’s cheerleaders guaranteed championships then the UCLA basketball team wouldn’t have been knocked off...

Apr 7, 2008

Lollapalooza 2008 Lineup Announced

Lollapalooza’s lineup has been officially announced! As expected, Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, Kanye West and Nine Inch ...

Apr 4, 2008

Five “Emo” Albums That You Shouldn’t Be Ashamed of Loving and Owning

Even with the lack of creative input in pop and the questionable ethics of gangsta rap, “emo” is the dirtiest...

Apr 2, 2008

Hillary’s F*cking Obama!

Great remix of the Sara Silverman / Ben Affleck song, Hillary is F*cking Obama!...

Apr 1, 2008

Men in Scandinavia Love to Show Off Their Mustang Skinline Jeans

I hate the Internet so hard sometimes. Why are Scandinavian dudes uploading videos of themselves wearing Mustang Skinline Jeans, the...

Apr 1, 2008

Coming Soon: Super Pii Pii Brothers?!

Either this is a very well-conceived prank just in time for April Fools, or the most outta control video game...

Mar 31, 2008

“Hot Shots Golf: Out of Bounds” is a Great Way to Waste a Sunday

The Hot Shots Golf franchise keeps it real – real casual and goofy, that is. Often imitated and never duplicated...

Mar 30, 2008

Audio Historians Discover First Tune Ever Recorded, Dating Back to 1860

One of the most legit news stories this month has been all but ignored by most media sources, or at...

Mar 30, 2008

Dita Von Teese’s Lesbian Porn Past Revealed

Pictures and video have surfaced online of burlesque babe (and current Wonderbra spokeswoman) Dita Von Teese starring in lesbian porn...

Mar 29, 2008

Paris Hilton Should Never Belly Dance

It’s a love/hate thing with Paris Hilton. Most days you’re annoyed by her vapid personality and shameless self promoting. But...

Mar 28, 2008

Don’t Cry For Me, Tijuana: Emo Wars in Mexico

If there’s one thing worse than misguided emo kids whining about the world, it’s ‘punk’ kids getting all aggro on...

Mar 26, 2008

Dr. Pepper to Axl Rose: Give Us “Democracy” and We Will Give Soda to All

In one of the most savvy marketing plans ever hatched, Dr. Pepper has promised a free can of soda to...

Mar 26, 2008

The Raconteurs – “Salute Your Solution”

“Salute Your Solution” is the first single from The Raconteurs’ new album, Consolers Of The Lonely, which can be purchased...

Mar 26, 2008

Lebron and Gisele’s Vogue Cover: Racist, or the Victim of a Really Slow News Day?

Rather than focusing on Lebron James being the first black man on the cover of Vogue (alongside supermodel Gisele Bundchen,...

Mar 25, 2008

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead Trailer

From Bloody Disgusting: An out of work lothario, Julian Marsh (Hoffman), scores a break as the director of an off-Broadway...

Mar 25, 2008

Virginia Tech Settlement Package

So let’s assume you’re dead, and your school f**ked up and allowed it to happen through a lack of planning...

Mar 24, 2008

COED Music Video: MGMT – “Time To Pretend”

To take full advantage of MGMT’s new video it’s recommended that you wear 3-D glasses. Don’t have any lying around?...

Mar 24, 2008

Suge Knight Returns to the Limelight, Lowers Entertainment Standards Worldwide

And here we go again, with that whole “keeping it real” adage that gangsta rap motherf***ing swears by. Death Row’s...

Mar 21, 2008

Friday Night Catfight: Caged Babes Fight!!!!

Even with the distracting website logo, this video SLAYS:...

Mar 21, 2008

Brew Review: Smuttynose Old Brown Dog Ale

Being a New Hampshirian (?) at heart, Smuttynose is a beer I have fond memories of, even though I don’t...

Mar 21, 2008

Le Tabarnak is Le Tabarwack

Terrible title, I know. I realize this has been buzzed about for a few days now, but I have to...

Mar 20, 2008

Steve-O Seeks Salvation, Damns Drugs

From jail to rehab and everything in between, I had the impression that Jackass star Steve-O was just your run-of-the-mill...

Mar 19, 2008

Nintendo Wii’s “Dragon Quest Swords” Offers Up Cheap Thrills for the Unskilled

Right from the get-go, Dragon Quest Swords reminded me of Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest on the SNES, an often forgotten...

Mar 19, 2008

Boondock Saints Sequel in the Works

Sony Picture Studios has decided to go forward with a sequel to Boondock Saints, one of the most maligned and...

Mar 18, 2008

MGM Rolls Out Their Latest Schedule of Remakes, Including…Robocop?

Let’s get right down to business. From MGM’s press release: MGM is planning an exciting fall and winter release schedule....

Mar 18, 2008

American Airlines: Home to World Class Flights and Masturbating Passengers

Just when you thought it was safe to take a nap on a flight to L.A., some random guy has...

Mar 17, 2008

Quick Tips for St. Patrick’s Day

Unfortunately, St. Patrick’s Day this year falls on a Monday (today, if you so happened to forget) – so what?...

Mar 16, 2008

The Future is Now: Smart Goggles

We’re only a few months into 2008, and it’s already turning out to be quite the year for technological breakthroughs,...

Mar 15, 2008

COED Presents: Akido

This week, I have started getting my ass kicked with a new martial art – Akido/Aikido. You might remember it...

Mar 14, 2008

Brew Review: Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR)

After trying many classy brews, it’s about time I reviewed an old standby of mine, Pabst Blue Ribbon. A pharmacy...

Mar 14, 2008

Steve-O is Insane-O

Steve-O, fresh out of jail and clutching a handful of lemons, is seen in a newly-uploaded YouTube clip attempting to...

Mar 13, 2008

Bro Search

Girlfriends are a dime a dozen but a good Bro can be impossible to replace. Finally, a website that tackles...

Mar 12, 2008

World’s Best Video Production Company

Move over George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, Fred and Sharon’s movies will blow your shops out of the water. I...

Mar 11, 2008

Absolut Zach

Zach was asked to make an ad for Absolut Vodka as part of their ongoing artist series. He agreed as...

Mar 11, 2008

Sound Check: Snoop Dogg – “Ego Trippin'”

Snoop Dogg – Ego Trippin’ (2008) Ego Trippin’, Snoop Dogg’s 1,979th album in as many years (dog years?) has the...

Mar 11, 2008

Harvard Loves Buff Muslim Women!

When not engaged in jihad or shaving their backs, Muslim women like to stay buff. Harvard University has banned men...

Mar 10, 2008

The Baby Diaper Mustache (NSFW)

Opie from The Opie & Anthony Show has to deliver on a promise to make a “baby diaper mustache” when...

Mar 10, 2008

Will “Super High Me” Justify Smoking Pot?

Taking a note from the Morgan Spurlock School of Thought, comedian (and weed enthusiast) Doug Benson will release Super High...

Mar 10, 2008

Sharper Image Needs to Sell Everything

For Christmas I got a Sharper Image giftcard from my girlfriend’s parents. $100 is not too shabby, but at Sharper...

Mar 7, 2008

The Future is Now: Solar Robot Mower

With recent automotive and sexual breakthroughs in technology, we are finally on pace to live in a true blue (neon...

Mar 6, 2008

Brew Review: Modelo Especial

I cannot for the life of me understand why Modelo Especial gets a bad rap. Sure, the squat bottled brew...

Mar 6, 2008

MLB 2K8 is Hyper Technical, But Worth the Effort

I can’t lie: sports games have become far too technical in the past few years. I remember when Bases Loaded...

Mar 6, 2008

Mentos Boosts Confidence With Ladies

As this intense commercial shows Mentos definitely boosts your confidence around girls....

Mar 5, 2008

Will Arnett Human Giant Sex Tape

A sneak preview sketch from Season 2 of MTV’s Human Giant: Season 2 of Human Giant premieres Tuesday, March 11th...

Mar 5, 2008

Hangboarding: Tubing for the “Extreme” Crowd

While searching high and low for any “happenings” online, I stumbled onto extreme sports latest sensation, Hangboarding. It’s like this:...

Mar 4, 2008

Sound Check: Nine Inch Nails – “Ghosts I-IV”

Following the blueprint laid down by Radiohead late last year, Nine Inch Nails have released Ghosts I-IV, a 4-disc instrumental...

Mar 4, 2008

Meet and Greet Scarlett Johansson For a Few Thousand Dollars

UK-based Oxfam International knows when the stars donate to charity, a deal must be struck. Celebrity charity thrives on doing...

Mar 4, 2008

The Teabag Incident

McLovin, also known as Christopher Mintz-Plasse, stars in The Teabag Incident....

Mar 3, 2008

Roommate Alien Prank Goes Bad

Chad is terrified of Aliens, so of course his roommates decide to torment him relentlessly at all hours of the...

Feb 29, 2008

Semi-Pro Fakes the Funk

Throw comedy everyman Will Ferrell into a zany project that deals with the rise and fall of a lovable idiot...

Feb 29, 2008

Inmates Do Soulja Boy and Hammer

Yes, they are doing time – but they are doing the time of their life!...

Feb 28, 2008

Brew Review: Old Speckled Hen

A local bar in NYC I stumbled into recently had Old Speckled Hen, an English Pale Ale I’ve never even...