Tell me if you’ve heard this one before. “Grotesque fast food chain invents new gimmick menu item to entice their already stupid and fat customers to become fatter.” Yeah, me too.
It’s been a couple of month since the last time I bashed a fast food restaurant, so it seems fitting now that spring has officially sprung, one of the big four monsters of fast food (Subway, KFC, McDonald’s, and Taco Bell) was going to pop up with a new gimmick to try and save their failing (hopefully) business.
There are few people who hate on Taco Bell harder than your boy right here. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that edible meat can cost only 79 cents. I literally cannot wrap my brain around it. Ever hear of a profit margin? Right, so, if Taco Bell is selling it to us for 79 cents, what do you think it costs them to make it? 25 cents? Maybe 30? Point being, no human should be eating MEAT that is that cheap. It just isn’t right.
But what’s even more f*cked up than Taco Bell’s product itself is the fact that they’re adding Pop Rocks to it. That’s right — the childhood candy Pop Rocks.
The chain’s newest menu item might be its most explosive (not literally) yet. That’s because Taco Bell just introduced a brand-new menu item called the Firecracker Burrito that comes with a side of spicy pop rocks. Yes, you read that right. The mad geniuses at T-Bell have decided to add everyone’s favorite nostalgic candy into the Mexican mix.
This isn’t the first product to take advantage of the pleasant snap, crackle, and pop of the aforementioned Pop Rocks in recent months. To celebrate Memorial Day, Oreo released Firecracker Oreos that had Pop Rocks imbedded in the cream much to the delight of anyone raised in the 1980s. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Taco Bell (likely unintentionally) piggy-backed off of that success by introducing its own similarly named Firecracker Burrito (currently being tested in the OC).
The burrito contains nacho cheese, beef, rice and red tortilla strips (seems like it’s just a rehashing of the Beefy Crunch Burrito). Pretty standard, right? But, it comes with a packet of spicy Pop Rocks that “taste sweet and crackle just like Pop Rocks,” says Reddit user Elbore, who first broke the news. Presumably, you’re supposed to sprinkle these onto your burrito after every bite to get maximum tingle to meat ratio. You can purchase the burrito without the Pop Rocks for $1.29 (why would you?) or with them for $1.49. There are also two versions, the regular version and a spicy version with the added kick of chipotle sauce.
Pop rocks… and @tacobell burritos?!?! Yuppp, it's happening y'all! Check out this Firecracker burrito, a new test item for TB, at the location marked in this photo!! 🔥🌯💥 . . . #foodbeast #tacobell #fastfood #newfastfood #testitem #firecrackerburrito #poprocksburrito #poprocks #burrito #outhereflourishing
Yet another abomination of a menu item from an abomination of a fast food chain.