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New York City Decriminalizes Peeing In Public, Saves Drunken Idiots Hundreds Of Dollars In Fines

SHUTTERSTOCK

Did you know that if you get three public urination tickets in New Jersey (or maybe everywhere, I don’t know) you have to register as a sex offender? Isn’t that just f*cking bananas?

Want to know how I know that? Because I had a friend who got popped with three public urinations and had to hire himself a fancy-pants lawyer just so he didn’t have to register himself as a diddler. Shit’s really real.

via New York Post:

Advocates claim the new procedure will divert 100,000 cases a year from the criminal justice system and prevent minor offenders from acquiring criminal records.

But another source pointed out that many law breakers will be emboldened because they’ll no longer have to appear in criminal court — which might require taking a day off work.

Now, they’ll simply have to appear at an administrative hearing at a convenient location near them.

The change is the result of the City Council’s controversial Criminal Justice Reform Act, which allows law breakers who’ve been cited for those and other low-level offenses to face justice in administrative hearings rather than in criminal court.

Now, while this may make New York City even worse than it already does, this will save do-gooding citizens who got a little too drunk a lot of trouble.

Related TopicsCollege New York City
Eric ItalianoCOED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com
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