We are exactly 53 days away from the return of Game Of Thrones (not that I’m counting), and I’m getting to the point where I’m looking for Thrones intel like a crackhead would look for, well, crack.
Any glimpses, photos, rumors, ANYTHING that I can get about the seventh season of Thrones, I’ll take it. I’ve got that Thrones itch, and there’s only one thing that can crave it — more Thrones. It’s a vicious cycle.
So you bet your ass when I scroll past a story about why the writers of Thrones decided to give Jon Snow a tiny johnson, I was going to read the article front to back.
Turns out, according to his co-stars, Kit Harrington, the devilishly handsome actor who plays Jon Snow, is the full package: handsome, smart, talented, and most importantly, decent? So how does one rib and banter with someone so well-rounded? By giving his character a tiny dick, of course!
Harington’s costars are just as quick to sling insults his way. Emilia Clarke (Daenerys Targaryen): “There’s a consistent drumbeat of taking the piss out of his incredible hair and startling good looks. His hair just takes over everything. My ridiculous handcrafted wig doesn’t come close to standing up to his man bun.”
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime Lannister): “There’s a change in the level of female lust in the room when Kit is there, which all the males find annoying and disrespectful.”
After seeing Snow’s naked corpse, one character says, “What kind of god would have a pecker that small?” Benioff and Weiss explain that line: “There has to be some downside to being Kit Harington, right? It seems only fair. He’s handsome, talented, smart, and so decent to the core that it’s impossible not to like him. Maddening. The one thing we can do is saddle his character with a tiny pecker.”
Really, it’s only fair. I’m always preaching that god should have been a little more communistic when creating people, and Kit Harrington is the example of that. Dude has it ALL going for him, so much so, that the only way to take him down a notch is to give his imaginary character a tiny penis.
The seventh season of Game Of Thrones premiere on HBO on July 16 at 9 PM.