Danielle Bregoli Of ‘Cash Me Outside’ Fame Is Going On A National Tour

Danielle Bregoli’s Instagram

After getting into fights on airplanes, starring in music videos, taking beatings in street fights, and roasting David Spade on Instagram, the next logical step to keep your viral fame going is obviously with a national tour. So that’s exactly what’s on tap for Danielle Bregoli of “Cash Me Outside” fame.

Now here’s the part where you may be wondering, “But Toby, don’t you need an actual talent to go on tour?” That is where you are wrong, my naive friend. It’s 2017, which means that you can make absurd amounts of money for doing absolutely nothing of substance. What a time to be alive!

Via TMZ, here are all of the details on the 14-year-old troublemaker’s upcoming national tour.

Sources close to Danielle tell us she’ll be hittin’ the road, and stands to make up to $50k per show if they sell out. So far, we’re told her team has 2 big city venues locked down. We know what you’re thinking — what’s a freakin’ “Cash Me Outside” stage act look like?

We’re told she’s planning a 3-part act:

– Danielle lip syncing and rapping to her fave songs, plus established acts making cameos.
– Live Q&A with the audience, which seems risky considering how defensive she can get.
– Invite audience members onstage to joke around. Translation: Get ready to be roasted by a 14-year-old.

The fact that she’s going to make more money off of one goddamn show then I’ll make in an entire year is a bummer of epic proportions. I’m not even mad at Danielle either, as you have to respect her hustle. The people that are catching my fury are the dumb f*cks that are going to buy tickets to see her. Anybody who shells out money to see this charade deserves to get deported to Antarctica. Danielle’s already had a great run, so please don’t encourage this nonsense any longer.

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Toby HastyCOED Writer
Towson University graduate, Maryland resident, chicken parm connoisseur, and "Gin and Juice" karaoke performer. Follow me on Twitter for frequent complaining and Chappelle's Show quotes.
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