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COED’s Guide To Weird News: Top 5 Strangest True Stories Of The Week

This news is just too weird to pass-up. It’s like when your bro tells you to “smell this,” you already know it’s going to smell terrible. But you take a whiff anyway out of some morbid curiosity. The same goes with super strange news. You just can’t say no, no matter how weird.

Turning on any media device nowadays can bring about an overload of craziness to any eager consumer. We see and hear a lot of crazy sh*t in the news, but here are five stories that take the oddball cake.

We hear the buzzword “fake news” when it comes to biased, slanted media sources and Donald Trump‘s mouth. But what about weird news? Let’s take a look at the best stuff from this week’s strange news category.

The Legend of the Half-Naked Man and his Thirst for Beer

Weird News: Top 5 Strangest Stories Of The Week

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Let’s take a trip to suburban Ohio. We’re in the city of Rocky River, home to over 20 thousand residents and one alcohol-induced half-naked guy. This guy intentionally plowed his car into a closed convenience store. Why? Because he wanted to get more beer. Of course!

The 45-year-old driver wore nothing from the waist down. Yikes!

His car crashed through the store wall early Sunday. He got out and told the worker that he needed beer. Good thing, the worker was behind the deli counter or something worse might have happened.

When police arrive, they noitced that the half-naked man had barricaded himself in a beer cooler. He told them to shoot him. But good thing cooler heads prevailed and he was transferred to a hospital to treat injuries suffered as a result of the crash. The store employee was taken to the hospital as well.

The legend of the half-naked man came to an end. He was charged with impaired driving.


Teen Arrives at her Prom in a Coffin

Weird News: Top 5 Strangest Stories Of The Week

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This story totally reeks of the goth. Yes, that’s right. I called it “the goth,” bite me!

But the girl in the story may not have had goth intentions after all. Megan Flaherty is a 17-year-old junior from Pennsauken High School in New Jersey. She has aspirations to become a funeral director one day (okay, maybe a little goth).

Megan decided to attend this Saturday’s junior prom in a coffin. Her date had no problem with it. She checked with him, and he gave her the go-ahead on her most unusual request.

Flaherty made her entrance to the prom as epic as a Tim Burton movie. She arrived in a hearse, an open coffin slide out the back and the student rose from the casket like Twilight (but actually cool). She took hold of her date’s hand as the prom goers looked on in astonishment.

Not even Britney can top that!


Mother Got Son Arrested for Stealing Stew, Two Years Later: Charges Dropped

Weird News: Top 5 Strangest Stories Of The Week

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Not everyone has the best relationship with their mother. That almost goes without saying. But not every mother would have her own son locked up for stealing a bowl of stew.

In 2015, a New Mexico man decided to break into his mother’s house and chow down on her traditional New Mexican stew. His mother once warned him to stay away from her posole (stew), but he ignored her orders and ran off with the holiday meal.

Jonathan Carlos Ray texted his mom, saying he wanted her stew. She said no, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Naught, naughty. Mr. Ray. She later found her gate broken and her prized pot of posole was not-so-mysteriously gone.

She brought up charges against her disobedient son. But last week, a state district judge dismissed the case completely.

What is posole, you ask? It’s a traditional soup or stew popular in Mexico and the American Southwest, made with pork or chicken. But is it worth going to jail over? You be the judge!


The Adorable Story of a 17-foot Python who found his way Home

Weird News: Top 5 Strangest Stories Of The Week

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Sam, the gigantic python went missing and scared the crap out of a community north of Anchorage, Alaska. His owner told the Matsunika-Sustina Borough Animal Care department that he had just feed his large snake a 25-pound rabbit when he noticed its disappearance. But really, how could somebody miss a 17-foot python…unless it escaped!

Well, we don’t really know where it went. It just seemed to vanish in thin air. This missing python caused a heap of concern in a quiet community. But the snake came back and his owner must be very happy to have his pet home.

Somehow, Sam reemerged in the living of his owner. He was gone for 14 days, gained the attention of the international media and came home unscathed.


Suicidal Deer Licks the Barrel Of Hunter’s Gun

Weird News: Top 5 Strangest Stories Of The Week

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A pack of hunters entered a forest in central Indiana’s Hendricks County this weekend, on the hunt for turkeys. But instead of gobble-gobble, they met a herd of deer who were not afraid in the slightest within the presence of apex predators (humans, of course).

A deer was so daring that it even licked the barrel of the turkey hunter’s gun. The manly hunters showed their softer side when they pet the gentle deer. One of the hunters, Leon Champine said “It was truly a once in a lifetime encounter that I am incredibly fortunate enough to have captured on my phone.”

Leon also suggested that the reason why these deer were so friendly is because their mother wasn’t around “to teach them what’s dangerous.”

This whole scenario was recorded and put up on YouTube, where it attracted the attention of the local media and beyond.


Bonus: Tennessee Church is undercover Swinger’s Joint

Weird News: Top 5 Strangest Stories Of The Week

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This story didn’t quite make the list because I already wrote up an article on this possibly strange, but sexy occurrence yesterday. You’ll have to read the article to find out the details. I won’t spoil it here. I absolutely hate spoilers, don’t you? I hope so or we’re never going to make this work.


What’s next on the Weird News menu?

Weird News: Top 5 Strangest True Stories Of The Week

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We’re back with Volume 2 of “Weird News” Top 5 Strangest Stories On The Web.” Let’s see the type of weirdness the world has in store for you this time:

  1. Old Woman from Florida finds an iguana in the toilet, so naturally, she dials 911
  2. Guy drives drunk in the parking lot of the New York State Police Academy
  3. Car vs. Alligator: SUV flips over multiple times after hitting 9-foot-long beast
  4. Cool Old Dude: WWII Veteran breaks world skydiving record at 101-years-old
  5. “Uncle Fat” Chunky Monkey is put on diet after eating way too much junk food

What about that “fake news” you were mentioning earlier?

Weird News: Top 5 Strangest Stories Of The Week

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We got that too, bub! Don’t worry a thing. We have the hook-up to all the bullsh*t you might have missed this week. This stuff isn’t weird, it’s just fake as hell!


Related TopicsCulture Funny Odd strange Video Weird
Brian DunlopCOED Writer
I've been sent out of college, with honors and such, on the search for the American Dream. I'm a Queens native, filtering through the net for the next hit story. I'm a good bro, too. Check out my brother's art page: https://www.instagram.com/foulfacekoala/?hl=en
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