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Bruh … Kylie Jenner Is Out Here

This is a really bad look for your boy, as this is my SECOND Kylie Jenner article of the day. I used to hate people like this, and yet here I am, feeding into the system.

But what’s a dude supposed to do when the chick donates $1 million to charity and drops these fire pictures in one day? My duty. I must do my duty.

And besides, there aren’t just any pictures. Given how closely the Kardashian Empire guards it’s greatest asset (Kylie Jenner’s butt), this may be the best look we’ve gotten at it yet.  Now, I know what you’re thinking — ‘What are you talking about, Eric? Kylie Jenner dumps it out all the time.’ And, while that may be true, you’re still wrong.

You see, I’m of the (decidedly ironic yet nevertheless somewhat possible) opinion that a Kylie Jenner sex tape could gross a billion dollars. I’m also of the opinion that the Kardashian’s have been carefully crafting and building Kylie’s mystique and sex appeal until it reaches a critical mass and they’ve got the world by the metaphorical blue-balls. Sure, she definitely shows it off. But not all of it. A tease here, a shadowy, grainy photo there. They give you just enough to be satisfied, yet keep enough hidden where you’re forever curious. Basically — we’ve never been given the money shot.

All of that is just a long-winded way of saying that this Kylie Jenner photo shoot is awesome cause we get a great picture of dumper. Nothing more, nothing less.

And believe me this — that Kylie Jenner sex tape will drop one day, and it will flip the world on its head, gross more than any Marvel movie ever, and legitimately break the internet. I’m calling it.

Eric ItalianoCOED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com
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