Celena Ashcar is a member of the Zeta Tau Alpha sorority and a student at the University of Georgia. If you took any time to scroll through the above gallery of photos from her Instagram account, you can tell that she quite attractive.
It seems that her good looks were more than one old dude could handle, as he lost all sense of decorum and sent her an unbelievably creepy email. It’s like a much grosser version of when Squints Palledorous snapped and finally made a move on Wendy Peffercorn.
Celena uploaded the email of a possible UGA employee asking her out to Twitter, and you are most definitely going to want to give it a read. Find yourself a comfy chair, buckle your seatbelt, and get prepared for one of the most ill-advised courtships of all-time.
I cropped out ol’ Clark’s phone number, as I felt that this was already a gigantic enough L for him. Having him get lit up with prank phone calls would be like dumping salt into a wound the size of a beach ball.
I would just love to know what was going through Clark’s head when he sent that novel of an email. Did he think, “Oh man, Clark, that line about acting in a play was killer! We’ll be laughing over a candlelit early bird special in no time!” I know that shooters shoot, but that was a full court heave with a blindfold on.
I want to give Clark some props for being flexible with the type of date he wanted to take her on. But after giving it more thought, I’m almost positive that the “other” option was snatching Celena on campus and throwing her into a windowless van.