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This Alabama Man’s Gun Fell Out Of His Butt At The Most Inconvenient Moment

Jesse O’Neal Roberts, a 23-year-old Alabama man arrested for public intoxication, will now face additional charges after police say a handgun fell out of his butt. Literally, right out of his ass.

According to AL.com, Roberts, of Elkmont, Alabama, was picked up by police after a resident called 911 when he said he found Roberts prowling around his garage in a house on Esten Lane.

The unidentified resident held Roberts at gunpoint until the local authorities arrived. Roberts was then arrested shortly after midnight when deputies arrived at the Esten Lane home.

Via AL:

Deputy Chad Harbin found Roberts, who was showing signs of impairment, and arrested him for public intoxication, Young said. When they arrived at the jail, corrections officers noticed Roberts appeared to be walking “strangely,” Sheriff’s spokesman Stephen Young said.

While being searched, Roberts stumbled and the pistol fell from his body cavity, Young said.

The weapon, which was reported stolen from Florence, was not loaded. It is a Jimenez .380-cailber pistol valued at $100.

Don’t you hate it when that happens? You’re stumbling around drunk, digging through people’s trash, and the fuzz shows up. Can’t a man be a gun-wielding public nuisance in peace? It is Alabama, after all. I’ve never been there, but from what I hear, there ain’t really much to do. Our guy was probably just trying to find his way home, which he may have misconstrued as a pile of garbage.

Plus, if this guy is that committed to ‘conceal and carry’ to shove an entire metal gun up his ass, then I think you have to let that one slide. I’m willing to bet Alabama has more NRA members than the average state, so if anyone is going to understand, it should be them. If anything, I’m impressed, because I sure as shit (ha, pun game strong) couldn’t find a Jimenez .380 caliber pistol ANYWHERE in my body, let alone the holiest of holies (shout out Pulp Fiction).

Roberts was charged with of public intoxication, stolen property, and carrying a concealed weapon without a permit.

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Eric ItalianoCOED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com
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