|

Idiot Thief Forgets To Put On Ski Mask, Puts It On Mid-Heist Despite The Fact That He’s Already Screwed

It’d be like a scene out of Curb Your Enthusiasm:

INT – Convenience store – NIGHT

Larry is standing at the counter in deep thought about what type of candy to buy. He remarks to the cashier that he used to like $100,000 Bars, but ever since they changed it to the Hundred Grand Bar, he hasn’t been much of a fan. “I got enough going on in my life. I need some consistency from my candy bars,” he says. It’s at this moment that the unmasked thief burts into the store.

THIEF
Give me all the money in the drawer!

The cashier immediately complies to the thief’s orders, opening the register and piling the money in the bag. Larry chimes in.

LARRY
Uh, hey, buddy.
(Larry nods his head towards the store’s security camera)

THIEF
What about it old man?! 

LARRY
I’ve never robbed before, but you’re supposed to be wearing the mask, right?

Thief, realizing his face is exposed, quickly pulls the mask over his face, running out of the store in embarassment. The store clerk looks shocked by Larry David’s handling of the situation, but Larry seems unfazed.

LARRY
You know what, it’s been a while, I’ll take the Hundred Grand Bar.

Andddd that was my Curb Your Enthusiasm fan-fiction for the day. Back to reality.

The robbery, which took place March 21, shows one of the world’s worst criminals botching one of the easiest crimes there is. What I mean is, of all the serious offenses to commit, I feel like robbing a convenience store should be the easiest to get away with.

Via Fox 5 DC:

D.C. police say the suspect entered the 7-Eleven store in the 3700 block of 12th Street at around 7:43 p.m. on March 21 with a gun and demanded the cashier to open the cash register.

 In the surveillance video from inside the store, the suspect realizes the mask on the top of head is not fully on and he finally pulls it down to cover his face. After the cashier opens the register, the suspect is seen taking the cash before leaving the store and running away from the scene.

Washington D.C. police are asking anyone with information about the suspect or the robbery to call 202-727-9099 or send a text message to 50411.

  • Related TopicsCulture robbery
    Eric ItalianoCOED Writer
    A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com
    Comments