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Congress Ordered NASA To Get It Together & Get Us On Mars By 2039

via Getty

I’m a big space guy. Even before I started burning the devil’s lettuce, I was all in on the great unknown.

I remember one of the first toys I asked for as a kid was a space shuttle. Pound for pound, Armageddon is as complete of a movie as there is. It’s got laughs, it’s got tears, it’s got action, it’s got Bruce Willy and Ben Affleck, it’s got it all. And I haven’t even mentioned black holes and time travel. If you haven’t already, watch Cosmos on Netflix and get with the program because space is lit.

That’s why I’m totally behind Congress kicking NASA in the ass and telling them to get us on Mars in the next 20 years. Mars is the future and the future is now. There no guarantee that the world survives another 50 years with all of the nonsense humankind has been pulling recently, so I’m of the opinion that the sooner we can jump ship, the better. You know what they say — if you’re not first, you’re last, and it’s only a matter of time before China or Russia beats us to the punch and cucks us out of the great red rock. We barely beat the Russians to the moon, and even to this day, people have their doubts. All I’m saying is, the first nation that gets to Mars is going to be the first nation that can build a weapon on it.

Via Space News:

For the first time in nearly six and a half years, Congress has passed a NASA authorization bill with the approval of such a bill March 7 in the House of Representatives.

The House approved on a voice vote the NASA Transition Authorization Act of 2017, S.442, after a brief discussion on the House floor where no members spoke against the bill. The same bill passed the Senate by unanimous consent Feb. 17.

The bill authorizes $19.5 billion in spending for NASA in fiscal year 2017. More importantly, it includes a number of policy provisions directing NASA’s activities. They range from development of a detailed plan for NASA’s human exploration programs, with the long-term goal of sending humans to Mars, to giving NASA the ability to establish long-term medical monitoring of former astronauts.

And of course, whenever I can work a Seinfeld, South Park, or Chappelle’s Show reference into an article, you bet your ass I will. Today’s winner is Chappelle’s Show, who yet again, was way ahead of his time.

Related TopicsCulture mars Space
Eric ItalianoCOED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com
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