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Boston Thief Who Stole Picasso Painting During Super Bowl Is More Patriotic Than Tom Brady

Jordan Russell Leishman is more Patriotic than Tom Brady has ever been.

In the early hours of February 6, once the city of Boston had passed out after a night of celebrating their fifth Super Bowl championship, Leishman allegedly broke into the Galerie d’Orsay in an attempt to steal five paintings. As far as I’m concerned, an American taking advantage of the fact that an entire city is shitfaced to steal a Spaniard’s decades-old painting for a little profit is the definition of capitalism, and last time I checked, capitalism is one of the basic principles of this fine society.

Now, if he was, say, stealing money from a small business or a bank, I wouldn’t be such a fan. Making yourself taller by standing on the shoulders of the weak is none too impressive. But a painting, which at the end of the day is no more than an overly-interpreted piece of paper? That’s some Ocean’s Eleven type scheme that I could totally get behind. Stealing is one of America’s traditional strengths, people forget that. We stole our freedom from the Brits, didn’t we? Exactly.

Via NBC:

Among the stolen items were Picasso and Rembrandt etchings, some of the gallery’s most prized pieces. In total, the pieces were worth about $50,000.

“There was a brick through the front door that was completely shattered, then there was a pane of glass shattered in the door itself, and that is how he was able to access – he put his arm through the broken glass to open the door,” said Camille Super, one of the fine arts consultants at the gallery.

Leishman was close to getting away with it until he was stopped by three Boston University students, which is bullshit because if anyone is going to respect a side hustle, it should be college kids. However, given the fact that we’re talking about BU, it doesn’t surprise me they were a bunch of Northeast high-horse do-gooders. I went to Rutgers, and I can tell you right now if someone was running down the street with a bunch of Picassos, the rest of the students would be asking how they could help.

“We were walking down to the Common after the Super Bowl and we were walking back on Newbury when we heard the glass break and saw some guy walking out with a bunch of paintings,” said Jesse Do, one of the students.

“We saw the guy come out with some paintings, looked at each other, and said, ‘This isn’t normal,'” added Chris Savino.

“We yell out, ‘What’s going on – did you take those?’ He looks behind, sees us running after him, and he drops the paintings in attempt to flee. We didn’t really have a thought process, we just grabbed him,” said Mackenzie Thompson, another one of the BU students.

The three flagged down a police officer, who arrested Jordan Russell Leishman, 29, of Chelsea, Massachusetts.

Leishman was arraigned on Monday on multiple charges and held without bail.

  • Eric ItalianoCOED Writer
    A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me - eric.italiano@teamcoed.com
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