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Salt Bae Has Officially Gone Too Damn Far

Don’t get it twisted, this guy has been questionable at best since he first appeared out of Dubai and onto our Instagram timelines. Was this Middle Eastern man slicing meat the smoothest thing since I’ve seen since Vincent Vega on the dance floor? You bet your ass. But was it teetering on some sort of niche bestiality? Yeah, little bit.

I’m sorry, but you absolutely cannot treat meat that sensually without raising a couple of questions about the nature of your sexual preferences. Just say the statement ‘put roses in a pig’s ass’ out loud and tell me you don’t feel pervy.

Don’t get me wrong, loving meat is one of the better qualities a man can have. Just look at Ron Swanson (GOAT). But when you essentially make love to meat like this, I’m going to start to wonder what happened to that pig before and after the camera started rolling.

I love you baby dedi #salt #saltlife #saltbae

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Eric ItalianoCOED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta.
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