Hello. I am dead.
What you are about to read is being written from purgatory. There’s a hella long line, so I’ve got some time to kill. Luckily, they’ve got some sick wifi up (or down?) here. Gotta admit, I’m a little bummed out about biting the dust before I made it to the quarter-century mark, but let me tell you something, few people get to die while looking at something as pleasant as the backside of Selena Gomez, so in that regard, I’m actually quite lucky. So don’t mourn, celebrate, and enjoy this photo as much as I did.
For a little while, Emily Ratajkowski took over the #1 spot on my list of favorite girls on Earth, but Selena is coming into 2017 SWINGING. Yesterday when I found out she was dating The Weeknd, I was definitely upset with our girl, but this picture easily brought her back into my good graces. 2016 was a rough year for her, so hopefully this is a sign of things to come.