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I’d Totally Let This Former Miss Virginia Kick My Ass If She Was My Girlfriend

Domestic violence is a touchy subject that can offend a lot of different people quite easily, so I’m going to be as delicate as I can while I fire off these killer jokes and hot takes. That being said, I’d let Nikki Poteet beat my ass like Norbert beat Dagget (if you understand that reference, you’re an OG ’90s kid and we should probably be friends). I’d let her Ronda Rousey my ass right into retirement. She’s a Trump fan? By the time she’s done with me, I’d probably be one too.

Poteet, a former beauty queen, 29, appeared in the Downing Centre court in Sydney, Australia, on Wednesday, January 11 after being charged with assaulting her boyfriend, Wade McKenzie. And apparently, this isn’t her first run-in with the law.

via US Weekly:

In 2011, during her reign as Miss Virginia, Poteet made headlines when she was accused of verbally attacking her gay roommate and using a homophobic slur, which she vehemently denied. Ultimately, she was asked to give up her title after she posted a photo of herself wearing her crown on Facebook with the caption, “Miss Alcoholic USA.” At the time, the director of the Miss United States Pageant Organization, Chris Wilbur, told NBC, “[Poteet’s] character was not a good fit for the organization, so we gave her the option to change or leave. She chose to leave.”

In 2013, she was also charged with misdemeanor assault and battery against a former boyfriend, James McElroy. The case was dismissed when the prosecutor asked McElroy what happened, and he said he couldn’t remember.

Since her reign as Miss Virginia USA came to an abrupt end, she has been living in Australia and working in human resources at an engineering and renewable energy firm.

I’m softening my stance on our girl right here. If she just had a quick rage fit and whooped my ass, that’s one thing. I’m all about that. Turns me on a little. However, she seems like she’s legitimately insane. Not like cute insane, like full blown Harley Quinn insane. Minus the Margot Robbie.

In conclusion: I would let her kick my ass once, maybe even a couple of times, if it meant she would be my girlfriend. Anything more than that, consider me out.

 

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Eric Italianocoed writer
A New Jersey native who firmly subscribes to the 'it's better to be lucky than good' ideology, my main goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay.
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