WATCH: Miami Heat Baby Race Has Nail-Biting Finish

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On January 1, 2017, the Miami Heat battled the Detroit Pistons at the American Airlines Arena. There was nothing too remarkable about the game, as the Pistons won 107-98 in a matchup between two sub-.500 teams. The real excitement in Miami that night came from an absolutely riveting baby race at halftime. Watch these fierce competitors leave it all on the line.

And Miles wins it by a nose!! Holy shit, what a finish. We need to stop worrying about trying to make sports betting legal and start focusing on being able to wager on baby races. That made the Rose Bowl look like a PBS documentary.

Jake in lane two clearly doesn’t have the clutch gene. Instead of bearing down and getting across that finish line, he plopped his keister on the ground and starting crying. He’s definitely the Cam Newton of the baby racing circuit. I just wish Miles taunted his loser ass by dabbing in his face with that lint roller. To the victor goes the spoils.

Toby Hastycoed writer
Towson University graduate, Maryland resident, chicken parm connoisseur, and "Gin and Juice" karaoke performer. Follow me on Twitter for frequent complaining and Chappelle's Show quotes.
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