There might not be a person on the planet who confuses my penis quite like Courtney Stodden does. Sometimes, I’m mesmerized by her gigantic breasts, and other times, her plastic ass makes me queasy. Her music video for “Mistletoe Bikini” didn’t help my conundrum in the slightest. Enjoy all of the highs and all of the lows in the batshit crazy video.
I am speechless. Cleavage, whips, midgets, a boatload of sexual puns, and a furious Mrs. Claus choking Santa for cheating. Whoever wrote “Santa Baby” has gotta be rolling over in their grave. It’s Jesus’ birthday for crying out loud! At least try to be a little coy with it comes to seducing jolly old St. Nick.
While the video was super bizarre, Santa still managed to steal the show with his dynamite reactions. I cracked up every time that goofball’s eyes got big. So simple, yet so hysterical.
Talk about a tour de force performance.