This FSU Student Selling Positive Pregnancy Tests Is The Epitome Of 2016’s Worst List

FSU Fake Pregnancy Sales

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A pregnant FSU student has admitted that she’s selling positive pregnancy tests on Craigslist for $25 a pop. The woman, who wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons, spoke to WJAX-TV and told the new channel that she came up with the idea while she was searching for jobs. For her sake, she should certainly hope that nobody ever finds out who she is because I can tell you right now that any male employer who learned this dark secret about her would never hire her in a million years.

Here’s how her Craigslist ad reads: “Whether you are using it for your own amusement such as a prank, or to blackmail the CEO of wherever who you are having an affair with I DONT CARE AT ALL. This is an absolutely no questions asked type of deal tell me what you need I provide it for monetary exchange.”

Honestly, I can’t imagine many things on this planet that are worse to be selling than positive pregnancy tests. These strips of paper are right there below guns, heroin-laced-with-fentanyl, regular heroin and fake iPhone chargers that blow up your phone. Now, the question is whether or not I blame her for hustling and just trying making a buck where she can. Uhh, surprise, yeah I do. Faking a pregnancy and making your boyfriend/husband believe that his life is about to take turn for the worse is 100% psychotic and borderline a punishable offense. Like, I’m talking both you and the buyer of these pregnancy tests should be jailed for fraud.

Speaking of fraud, let’s take a look at the legal definition of fraud:

A false representation of a matter of fact—whether by words or by conduct, by false or misleading allegations, or by concealment of what should have been disclosed—that deceives and is intended to deceive another so that the individual will act upon it to her or his legal injury.

Yes, Your Honor, that seems like an open and shut case to me.

Let me tell you a little personal story that happened to me once-upon-a-time. College-aged Wyatt was dating someone who thought it’d be hilarious to call me hysterically crying and telling me that she was pregnant. I got to her dorm room where she continued to prank me, bro. She was crying, I started crying, it was awful. I thought for sure my life was over. And then after about ten minutes of consoling and hugging and whatever, this absolute **** of a woman turns around and tells me that she was joking and that I fell for it. LOL. I nearly killed her, right then and there.

Needless to say, we broke up, and then got back together because I’m a total idiot loser, but that’s besides the point. Here’s my point:

If you tell a guy that surprise, you’re pregnant!, he’s probably going to lose his mind a little bit. That’s a natural reaction. But if he learns that you were joking or lying in an attempt to get one over on him? Well then you’re on your own there.

Wyattcoed writer
Wyatt is a Gettysburg College graduate and NYC native who is flattered that you're interested about reading up on him.
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