WATCH: Adult Store Employees Prevent Robbery By Throwing Dildos At Thief

ABC7

ABC7

On Wednesday night right before closing time, some dirtbag criminal attempted to rob Lotions & Lace in San Bernardino, California. He must of assumed that the adult store would be an easy score, but man, oh man, was he ever wrong. Watch the would-be robber flee the scene after getting lit up with dildos.

“Really? I don’t have time for this.” What a badass. If I was working at Lotions & Lace that fateful night, I would have been too busy shitting my pants to determine if the gun was real or not. I’m all about self-preservation, so that’s not a chance that I’d be willing to take. I’d hand over all the cash, fleshlights, and edible underwear he wanted, and start working on my résumé for a position at PornHub.

But nope, not these feisty broads. Instead of giving in to the thief’s demands, they started peppering him with dildos. That was a rapid fire clinic like Buddy the Elf in a snowball fight to make that coward run for the hills.

Great job, ladies. Let’s hope management gives you both hefty raises and top-of-the-line sybians to reward you for your courageous deeds.

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    Toby HastyCOED Writer
    Towson University graduate, Maryland resident, chicken parm connoisseur, and "Gin and Juice" karaoke performer. Follow me on Twitter for frequent complaining and Chappelle's Show quotes.
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