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Someone Check Draymond Green Into Rehab, He Has An Addiction To Kicking People

Draymond Green is one of my “Ketchup Conundrums.” What is a ketchup conundrum? I’ll explain. I don’t like ketchup. I’ve tried it multiple times, yet every single time, no matter how young or old or fat or skinny I am, I just don’t like ketchup. I WANT to like ketchup. I TRY to like ketchup. I’ll even borderline force myself to eat ketchup, but at the end of the day, I just don’t f*ck with it. Draymond Green is another one of my ketchup conundrums.

I want to like Draymond Green. He’s a grinder. He’s versatile. He was a low draft pick. He works hard. He hustles. He talks smack. He’s got everything that an NBA player that I would normally love has. Yet, every time he opens his god damn mouth, I remember why I don’t like him. Oh, and also because he consistently does shit like this:

Yup, in case you haven’t heard, Draymond Green is a kicker.

Maybe WORST of all is that Draymond out here still playing the victim. Draymond, you “GOT EEEM”-meme looking motherf*cker, I’ve been watching the NBA consistently for like a decade now, and I have never, NEVER seen a player flail and kick people as much as you. It looks so goddamn unnatural yet you still have the balls to tell the American public that it’s not your fault. Preposterous. You’re gonna tell me that Draymond Green, one of the most talented, versatile, well-rounded players in the entire LEAGUE, can’t control his extremities? Exactly. It’s bullshit.

The silver lining is his flagrant behavior cost the Warriors the game, as Houston snapped their 12-game winning streak with a 132-127 double overtime victory.

Eric Italianocoed writer
A New Jersey native who firmly subscribes to the 'it's better to be lucky than good' ideology, my main goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay.
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