America’s relationship with Saudi Arabia is complicated. The Saudis have long been one of our most loyal allies in the Middle East, a region where we can hardly afford to lose any of our few allies. But their country is also run by a royal family who deny their citizens basic human rights because it is beholden to sharia law. Plus there’s that whole awkward fact that 15 of the 19 hijackers responsible for 9/11 were Saudi Arabians.
So it’s a tricky relationship, and it’s vital that the President-elect appoints the right person to the role of ambassador. And according to the over 3,900 people who have signed a new Change.org petition, the right person for the job is social media superstar and former porn star Mia Khalifa.
The petition was written by a man named Dalcolm Rodriguez-Goldstein, who we’re assuming is an expert on Middle East geopolitics. The petition states:
Mia Khalifa has a proven track record of bringing people together regardless of cultural background for the betterment of our country and international community. She will be a great leader representing us in the middle east as well as a symbol of the melting pot that is America.
The petition has a goal of 5,000 signatures, and if it reaches that goal President-elect Trump will have no choice but to go along with it. Because, as everyone knows, a Change.org petition that meets its goal is legally binding.
I know you’re probably thinking it might not be the best idea to make a porn star the ambassador to a country where women are forbidden from wearing revealing clothing or interacting with men. I felt that way too at first. But after watching Khalifa’s work, strictly for journalistic reasons, I’m confident that the Lebanese-American’s overwhelming sexiness will have the Saudis rethinking their oppression of women.
Make it happen, Donald.