Welcome to the second edition of COED’s new favorite series: Florida DUI Mugshots of the Week!
Florida DUI Mugshots of the Week was born out of a mistake. As Dr. Ford says on Westworld, “Evolution forged the entirety of sentinel life using one tool… mistake.” So, if you think about it, what I’m doing is technically evolution. Darwin and I are boys.
How did we get here? Well, two weeks ago (we took off for Thanksgiving), I realized I forgot to do my edition of Florida News of the Week for that week. Florida News of the Week is one of my favorite segments for the simple fact that I love laughing at Florida (especially after the election). It’s a gold mine for blogging content. Always has been, always will be.
So, as I was sitting around HATING myself for forgetting about one of my most beloved blog posts, I figured I had to really knock it out of the park and debut a new and improved version of Florida News of the Week. I hopped onto to my usual Florida news sources when a tiny little link to a mugshot page caught my eye. Naturally, you know, because Florida is Florida, I clicked. The results were life changing.
This f*cking website allows you to sort through the mugshots by arrest! Want to find yourself some crackhead mugshots? No problem, just filter in all of the possession of cocaine arrests. Me personally, I decided to go with the DUIers of the world, because their mugshots are notorious for producing some A+ comedic faces.
And before you’re all like, “Eric! How dare you?! This is in such poor taste! You’re an asshole!” I’d like to point out that I’m not the one who decided to endanger the lives of others and get my dumbass drunk face posted to public records. Just sayin’.
So, ladies and gentleman, without any further ado, COED’s favorite new series, Florida DUI Mugshots of the Week!