Back-to-back great weeks for your boy. I may have missed my Lock of the Week (way to go Green Bay, you incompetent buffoons), but a 4-1 record last Sunday ain’t too shabby if you ask me. I’m finally starting to hit my stride with NFL games, much like my red hot New York Football Giants, so life is good right now. I love, love, LOVE this week’s games that we have on tap for Sunday, and it would be the biggest upset since MJ and the Tune Squad took down the Monstars back in ’96 if I didn’t get to at least three wins. NFL Week 11 picks, let’s get it going:
Cowboys -7 vs Ravens
I hate both of these teams, like a lot, but I think Dallas is significantly better than Baltimore. The Cowboys are 8-1 against the spread this year, and I think that now that they’ve seemed to move on without Tony Romo, Dak Prescott will be able to play with a bit more ease because he won’t have Romo looming over his shoulder. Plus, Zeke Elliot is damn good, and the Ravens don’t have anyone on their team that scares me. So as much as I hate the Cowboys, I’m going with them again, because if they’re going to win and make my life miserable, you better believe they’re going to put some cash in my pockets while doing so.
Bills +2.5 @ Bengals
Nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills! I don’t love the Bills this year, but the Bengals kind of suck, so we’re going with the Bills. I think Buffalo has a better defense than Cincinnati and will make enough plays in offense to come out with a W. I also have an asshole friend who’s a Bengals fan and can go to hell, so I guess you could say that plays a part in me taking the Bills. Let’s go Buffalo!
Dolphins -1.5 @ Rams – Lock of the Week
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d bet on the Dolphins this year, but here we are. Truth be told, the Dolphins have actually been playing some pretty good football as of late, so I actually feel pretty good about this pick. Saying the Rams offense is a pile of dog shit would be offensive to the shit my dog took this morning, so yeah their offense is that bad. Rookie Jared Goff is getting his first career start this week, and you have to think it’s not going to go well if it took him this long to finally take the job from Case Keenum. I actually couldn’t feel better about this pick, if we’re being honest.
Cardinals +2.5 @ Vikings
Talk about a fall from grace for the Vikings. A month ago they were the talk of the NFL and making their travel plans to Houston for the Super Bowl, now they’re on a four-game losing streak and no longer lead the division. I’m not big on the Cardinals this year, but they’ve been playing much better than Minnesota as of late, so I’ve got the Cards in this one. I’m also not too worried that Arizona is on the road because the Vikings don’t have the same home field advantage that they did earlier in the year.
Redskins -3 vs Packers
I really want to take Green Bay here, but it turns out they’re pretty bad this year, so I have to take Washington. I’m well aware that the Packers won a playoff game in Washington last season, but the key phrase from that is “last season.” I hate the Redskins, but I think they may be a better team than they were last year, and I could see them putting up just enough points against a pretty bad Green Bay defense to come away with the W on Sunday. As much as I hate the Deadskins, my love of winning money trumps that hatred, so I gotta go with them this week. That doesn’t change the fact that Josh Norman is a baby back bitch.
Another week, another list of winners. My hot streak of picks is going to continue into Week 12. Stay tuned for next week’s picks, including a nice little Thanksgiving trifecta. Let’s keep it going.
Record on the season(started in Week 6): 14-9-2
Locks of the Week: 2-3