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Screw The Lotto, Spend Your $$ Wisely With Our Gambler’s Guide To College Football: Week 11

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Last week wasn’t my best work as a gambler, but that’s going to happen. Started off the day 0-3, including missing my Lock of the Week, but I rallied late to finish off my Saturday at 2-3 so it wasn’t all bad. Before I move onto my picks for this week, I would like to apologize to all my readers (which isn’t very many, but people forget that Rome wasn’t built in a day) for my record this year. I’m 10-10 since I’ve started making my picks, which is the definition of average, and the last time I checked we weren’t average here in America. So enough of picking games like a goddamn schmuck, this is the week where I finally go 4-1 or 5-0. I love, not like, LOVE the games this week, and it’s time to rock n roll. Here are your winners for this Saturday:


Clemson vs. Pitt OVER 65

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I don’t have the balls to take Pitt outright here because I think that Clemson is obviously the better team, and they’re getting kind of hot right now, but I love the over in this game. Both teams score a ton of points, and with the Heisman race still somewhat up in the air, I could see Deshaun Watson having a huge game against a Pitt defense that hasn’t been very good this year, and getting closer to Lamar Jackson as the Heisman favorite. I haven’t been good on picking the overs for games this year because I’m not some type of lunatic who willingly bets on under, but that changes on Saturday.


Penn State -7 @ Indiana

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As it turns out, Penn State is kind of good this year. That doesn’t mean their fans aren’t a bunch of annoying losers, but I can’t let my opinion (well, in this case, the fact because Penn State fans are the worst) get in the way of picking a winner. The Nittany Lions average almost 34 points a game, which by most standards is pretty good, and their defense has been playing pretty well as of late. I don’t think Indiana will be able to score on them, so expect Penn State to not have any trouble this weekend. And if they lose then we can all laugh at the fanbase’s expense, a true win-win situation.


West Virginia -2 @ Texas

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0-3 is where I stand on picking Texas games this year, but as the old saying goes, “Fourth times a charm.” I’m going with the Mountaineers because I think they’re the better team, and it’s getting to the point where I’m just going to keep picking against Texas just to prove a point. This is finally where my Texas nightmare comes to an end, and if not then we’ll be back here next week picking against Texas.


Stanford -3 @ Oregon

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Stanford has been a big disappointment this year, but Oregon sucks. I don’t like that this is the third road team I’m taking, but whatever, there’s no turning back now. Stanford has given Oregon trouble in recent years and I don’t expect that to change, with the Ducks having a bad year. If Christian McCaffrey knows what’s good for him, he’ll do us Stanford backers a favor and score like three touchdowns in a blowout victory to boost that draft stock of his.


Missouri -3.5 vs Vanderbilt – Lock of the Week

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Both of these teams are trash, so what better game to pick as my Lock of the Week? Nobody in their right mind would ever gamble on Vanderbilt because they’ve always sucked for the most part, and will probably continue to suck for years to come. While I also think Missouri sucks and is a fraud SEC team that needs to go back to their home in the Big 12, they suck less than Vanderbilt, and I like how they’re at home. Missouri Tigers, lock it up and rub it down.

It may have taken a few weeks to get here, but Week 11 is where my picks take off to the goddamn moon. The 3-2/2-3  Record Train ends on Saturday folks. 4-1 or 5-0 is happening, let’s have ourselves a nice little Saturday.

P.S. Bet all your winnings on Conor McGregor Saturday night.

Record on the Year (started in Week 7): 10-10

Locks of the Week: 2-2

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