Bills Fans Continue To Give No F*cks, Buy A 5-Year-Old A Birthday Cake That Says ‘F*ck Tom Brady’

F tom Brady cake

Is there anything better than the #BillsMafia?

First, it was throwing a dildo onto the field. Now, it’s giving a five-year-old child the gift that keeps on giving for Bills fans: hatred for Tom Brady.

My son is turning 5, and he and I go to the local Bills bar/restaurant to catch the games each Sunday. My wife helped me create this masterpiece of a cake for the Patriots game today. It was a big hit – and no, he can’t read yet, so he didn’t know what it said.

Every home game for the Bills is their Super Bowl. They live and die by the Bills and I can’t help but respect that fandom. I love this move by these parents. The kid can’t read, so it’s really no harm, no foul. In order to keep Bills Mafia alive, you have to teach them the ways of being a proper Bills fan. By age six, this kid should be learning how to funnel beers. By age seven, he should be learning the proper way to jump through and break a table. By age eight, tackling dummies of opposing quarterbacks should be on the agenda. I would say by age nine, this kid should have no problem fitting in at a Bills tailgate.

Side note: I can’t even imagine playing in the AFC East. I can’t comprehend how Jets, Dolphins, and Bills fans get the strength to go on with their lives when they know Tom Brady and the Patriots own most of the real estate in their heads. The Pats have won 12 of the last 13 division titles and have shown no signs of slowing down. Seriously, it has to do some serious physiological damage on the brain knowing that the 75% of the AFC East loses sleep over Tom Brady.

Thankfully, I’m a Giants fan and they have no problem whatsoever beating the Patriots in a big game. I will sleep well tonight.

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