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Screw The Lotto, Spend Your $$ Wisely With Our Gambler’s Guide To College Football: Week 9

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Okay, so I didn’t bring my A-Game last week going 2-3, but I hit my Lock of the Week (big ups to you Ohio U), so if you were smart and just bet the house on that, you probably came out on top. Now do I feel great about the slate of games this Saturday? Not really, but I’m not going to win any money by sitting on the sidelines and not gambling like some coward who has zero self-respect. So let’s shake off that losing record from last week, pick ourselves up, and win some money with these picks:


Baylor -3.5 @ Texas

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Last week I picked Texas because I said Charlie Strong got a bad rap, and Texas wasn’t that bad of a team. Yeah, turns out they suck, and Baylor is really good. Baylor can roll out of bed and score 50 points on anyone, and I don’t expect this to be any different, even on the road, because the Longhorn defense is hilariously awful.


Purdue +13.5 vs. Penn State

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This one is probably one of my dumber picks because Purdue sucks, like a lot, so feel free to bet against me on this one, but at least hear me out first. Penn State is coming off their biggest win in years knocking off Ohio State last week, and are definitely no joke, but I could see this being a let down game for them. I’m not saying that they’re going to lose, but Purdue could make it interesting at home. Plus 97.3% of Penn State fans are the most insufferable douchebags on the planet, so they don’t deserve nice things.


Nebraska +9.5 @ Wisconsin

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This line seems like a total slap in the face to Nebraska. Yeah, they don’t have a marquee win so far in the season, but they’re still undefeated nonetheless. Wisconsin is one of the tougher places to play in the country, and they very well could win this game, but I think it will at least be close. So don’t let me down, Nebraska, or else I’ll make fun of you and call you a bunch of weird hillbillies or something.


Michigan State +24.5 vs Michigan

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We continue betting on Big Ten underdogs this week, and we’re rolling with Sparty baby. Listen, I know that Michigan is an absolute juggernaut, and they definitely want revenge from last year’s game, but something about this game makes me think that Michigan State may make this one interesting. I’m well aware that this Michigan State team is nowhere near as good as the teams they’ve had the past few years, they actually suck, if we’re being honest, but this is their biggest rival and I think they’re going to get up for this game and make it a good one.


Utah +9.5 vs Washington: Lock of the Week

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Another line that I think is somewhat odd, but I guess that’s why Vegas makes billions each year and I don’t. Washington has been flat out awesome this year, running through teams left and right, but the Utes are no slouches by any mean. They’re 7-1 on the year with their only loss being to Cal, not to mention they are undefeated at home. So call me crazy, call me a moron, but I’m not only picking Utah to cover the spread, I’m picking them to win the game. Lock of the Week, let’s freaking do this.

If you were ever going to go against my picks (which should usually be always) I wouldn’t blame you if this was the week you did it, but I’m fairly confident we’ll be going into next week with our winning record back in tact.

Record on the Year (started in Week 7): 5-5

Locks of the Week: 1-1

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