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Harvard Men’s Soccer Team Wrote A Sexual Scouting Report On Incoming Recruits

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A 2012 Harvard Men’s Soccer team email chain has been leaked by a former teammate. The nine-page document contains a “sexual scouting report” on new female freshmen recruits, judging them by their looks and sexual appeal. In addition to rating their attraction, the email also assigned each new recruit (along with their photo) a sexual position.

Here’s a few quotes from The Harvard Crimson, the news source who was first contacted about the leak.

“She looks like the kind of girl who both likes to dominate, and likes to be dominated.”

“She seems relatively simple and probably inexperienced sexually, so I decided missionary would be her preferred position.

The author also assigned each woman a nickname, calling one woman “Gumbi” because “her gum to tooth ratio is about 1 to 1. For that reason I am forced to rate her a 6.

“She seems to be very strong, tall and manly so, I gave her a 3 because I felt bad. Not much needs to be said on this one folks.”


Update 11/4/2016: Harvard has cancelled the rest of the 2016-2017 Men’s Soccer season over these emails, which have apparently become a tradition.


While you can be sure that the Harvard Men’s Soccer team is far from the first group of college-aged men to judge freshmen women in a semi-private email setting, the fact of the matter is that it’s Harvard, people love to talk about Harvard, and that “Harvard men should know better.”

First of all, they’re right about the “Harvard men should know better.” All men should know better. This email is in poor taste. I’m not going to sit here on a high horse and say that I’ve never talked like that with the boys because that’d be the biggest lie I’ve ever told, but I’d also be the first to admit that I know this kind of thing isn’t right.

But you know what else isn’t right? Leaking this email to the Crimson Harvard four years after the fact. To the guy who released the document, I’ve got a few questions for you. Has this sophomoric email chain been bugging you for that long? Was the weight on your shoulders that heavy? There has got to be some other explanation for why this comes forward now, although I feel like we’re probably never going to hear why.

I’d also like to point out that other than the “Gumbi” reference (which is laugh out loud funny), I was pretty disappointed by this Harvard student’s attempts at humor. This kid is supposed to not only be an Ivy-league student but a jock. That’s supposed to be the epitome of a dude who’s familiar with lockerroom banter and the English language.

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