The frontrunner for comeback player of the year is Pokémon. When Pokémon GO arrived in July, it was the app that everyone had to have. You could not walk more than 20-feet without seeing players refueling on Pokeballs or training their Charmander at a PokeGym. In fact, Pokémon GO became the fastest mobile game to make $500 million in revenue.
Despite Pokémon GO dropping in numbers, it is clear that the nostalgia of catching and playing Pokémon is alive more than ever. Pokémon has now found its way to the NFL. Uproxx has created unique Pokémon that represent each NFL team. That’s right, brand new Pokémon were created that highlight the characteristics of each team.
Let’s take a look at some of the best new creations. All pictures and descriptions are courtesy of Uproxx.
Buffalo Bills – Buffohno
Type: Ice, Normal
“A frequent sight in snowy northern field. Buffohnos are frequently intoxicated by super potions and will crash through tables.”
Hmm, crashing through tables? Does this describe their play on the field, since the Bills once lost four straight Super Bowls and have not made the playoffs since 1999? However, this could be a direct shoutout to Buffalo fans and the legendary #BillsMafia, where no tables are ever safe.
Kansas City Chiefs – Flairrowhead
“The Flairrowhead’s projectiles only travel less than 20 yards but fortunately it is very stout when in close quarters combat.”
The Chiefs have always been a physical team up front and on defense. That being said, leave Alex Smith alone! Game managers are not supposed to throw the ball more than 20 yards anyway so the joke is on the rest of the NFL.
Dallas Cowboys – Lassobra
Type: Ground, Poison
“The Lassobra has a very potent poison bite, but it frequently gets in its own way when trying to attack.”
I would be a millionaire for every time I heard a Cowboys fan say that “this is the year.” The recipe for success is there. The Cowboys boast the best offensive line in football, a stud running back, and a top-10 receiver. That being said, they also have a quarterback that can’t stay healthy, a top-10 receiver that is a head case, and an owner that’s name is Jerry Jones. Good luck trying to overcome those obstacles.
Indianapolis Colts – Bastallion
“Said to be the luckiest Pokemon in existence, the Bastillion almost always manages to connect with attacks.”
Let’s just call this Pokémon by its true description: “We have Andrew Luck and without him, we are not a good team.”
New York Giants – Biggalugg
“Biggalug is a prized Pokemon for city dwellers and is used as bodyguard types against a hostile gang who call themselves The Patriots. It’s very hard to move and very powerful, but when toppled over it gets hurt easily and then can be walked all over.”
This one hit homes because I am a die-hard Giants fan. It does sting to know that the Giants are allergic to staying healthy and tend to put up a lot of disheartening performances. Did you watch the game in Minnesota last Monday? That being said, I will proudly boast the fact that no other NFL team can say. The Giants always beat Tom Brady and Bill Belichick in the Super Bowl. I will take that fact to my grave.
Check out more of the new Pokémon at Uproxx.